In first grade, I was introduced to the parentheses. Even at the tender age of seven, I remember thinking that they were unnecessary. Why would the English language maintain a form of punctuation so passive and obsolete? Anything within a parenthesis is not important enough to be stated directly, and too important not to be mentioned at all. Parentheses are the holding cells of insecure afterthoughts, and might as well just say “I’m not important, you can skip me!”
As a strong advocate that the written word contributes enormously to how we live our lives, I can’t help but be repulsed by parentheses. They give us an avenue to remain indecisive in our writing, and therefore in how we communicate. Far too often in our lives we are content to be passive, letting other people tell us what to think, who to be, how to act. And if we don’t follow their instructions exactly, we at least take their suggestions under strong advisement.
I’m not saying that we always intend to be submissive to public opinion. Some of the greatest communication failures began as honorable statements before they were covertly coerced into a parenthetical prison, smothered by political correctness and the need for an admired reputation. One of the greatest challenges, then, is to escape the axiom of political correctness and deliver our inclinations freely and without censor.
For example, I don’t have a favorite color, I sometimes eat left over Chinese for breakfast, and I strongly believe that anything in a gelatin form cannot be trusted. I suffer from an extreme case of procrastination and to be completely honest I don't think I'm going to study for the test I have next week. There, I said it. And I didn’t have to dance around the truth by saying “I have many favorite colors” or “I’m sure that I'll look over my notes sometime latter this week.”
Many times, we are discouraged to address our peers because we think what we have to say will not be well-received, or we refuse to speak with the false pretense that what we have to say is unimportant. Well, if I can take up a portion of the ever-expanding internet to rant about why artificially-flavored gelatin desserts are gross, who’s to say what’s important and what isn’t? Who knows? Maybe I even validated someone with an identity crisis dating back to elementary school where they didn’t know whether or not to accept the atrocity that is Jell-O. Seriously guys, it jiggles.
So I guess what I’m really trying to say is, just go for it. Say something, anything--because choosing to take a definitive stance on something is better than speaking in only parentheses, even if it’s a definitive stance on jello. Our world needs a little less passivity and a little more conviction. Be confident enough in what you have to say to just say it!
(Or remain as socially ambiguous as Jell-O...the choice is yours.)
