If I had a dollar for every time my mom told me to quit being negative, I could probably cover my whole college tuition and spoil my dog with a castle full of treats like the queen she is (the expensive diet treats, though – she has certain needs).

To explain, I have a rather large history of discouraging myself. I often put myself down, creating reasons for why I shouldn’t do ‘this’ or can’t do ‘that.’ It’s much easier to lift up others and encourage them, but when it comes to me, I either (somehow) forget to think about it or choose not to. It’s not about whether or not I’m actually capable of achieving a specific goal, it’s more about living in the magical land of “What if?”

What if they don’t like what I’m writing?

What if everything I say sounds weird?

What if I can’t bring up my grades? (Even though they’re “fine.”)

What if I create something artistic and everyone only says it looks good because they’re being nice?

What if I lose my scholarship, and then my parents are disappointed in me, and then my dog hates me, and then I have to drop out of college because it’s too expensive, and then I end up bumming off my parents until I’m Lord knows how old?

All of these what-ifs lead me to discourage myself from stepping out of my comfort zone. They lead me to assume that everything I attempt to do will end up a miserable failure, even though I know I’m capable of doing it. It’s as if my brain knows I can, but my heart fears I can’t.

I tell my friends all the time, “I believe in you!” But I never looked in the mirror and told myself the same thing. If anything, I told myself “Let’s see how awful this turns out.” I kept expectations in myself around zero, so that way I could only ever be impressed.

Because I have this issue, I have the great desire to remedy my situations. I do a few things to get around my negativity and to weaken it.

First, I pray about it. “Lord, give me the strength to accomplish this task.” It sounds simple, but if I’m reminding myself that, for me, doing something great comes from the Lord’s help, then I feel that the outcome will probably be better than what I could have done just by myself.

Secondly, I go to my friends and family for encouragement. I have actually said, “Mother, please encourage me.” And she does.

And Lastly, a new addition to my very short list, I am going to step outside of my comfort zone and have faith that I can do it. Whatever “it” is, I can do it. Even though I am scared of doing it, as I run through my list of every possible disaster that may accompany it, I know that I can do it. And no attempt at doing it is really a failure. As Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed, I’ve just found ten thousand ways that won’t work.” I would rather come from a situation having understood that I at least learned something. Thinking maybe whatever it is I aimed at doing is not in God’s plan, rather than continuing to think that I’m an awful person who can’t do anything right. After all, what He has intended for me is far greater than whatever I intend for myself.

I know I am not the only one who has battles with encouraging themselves. For every instance you are faced with a challenge that you fear you can’t accomplish, shove that thought down because that thought is not welcome there. Negative thoughts aren’t even from us, they’re from the enemy. We are children of God, and He did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). Do not be afraid of the unknown, because it is not unknown to God. We may think we can’t do it, but guess what! God knows we can.

I am tired of discouraging myself. So today, tomorrow, and every day after that, I am going to say to myself that, because I have the Lord helping me every step of the way, …

I believe in me.