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7 Social Norms I Hate Because They Make Me Judge Me More Than Anyone Else Would

Honestly... Why do we make rules if it only makes us worry about what others will think more than others would ever care?

Lauren Barnette

Jun 24, 2019

UNC Greensboro

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7 Social Norms I Hate Because They Make Me Judge Me More Than Anyone Else Would

Lauren Barnette

Life is hard. Society makes life harder. We have a billion social norms, beliefs, concepts... basically a whole big imaginary rulebook for how we should live and what we should do in order to be a good person. The only problem is, no matter what you do, you're always going to judge yourself harsher against these "rules" than literally any other person will ever care. People honestly are not going to be weeding through all of your life decisions so they can have an opinion of your lifestyle. Yes, we will always be judged by others, but it will never be on the level we judge ourselves on, so why do we let what we think others might think to change our life decisions? Just do what you want, and what you need to be happy!

Being monogamous, or limiting the amount of sexual partners you "should" have in your lifetime

I understand many people view sex as a special connection and have religious beliefs that make them want to only ever have sex with one person, etc. That is understandable, but telling yourself that you need to only have sex with one person and that means you absolutely cannot even consider sleeping with someone else until the 'relationship' ends solely because someone else might think something of you is ridiculous. Also, thinking 'I can't ever go past this number of partners or I will never find my forever person' is putting a pressure on yourself that is completely unnecessary. You will find your forever person when the time is right, and if they say your sexual history is a deal breaker then they are not the one for you.

Casual sex being viewed as bad in general.

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There are always people saying why you should never have sex with someone you don't love, but if that is not your belief system then why should that affect your actions? Sure, there are dangers with sex like diseases, pregnancy, etc. but as long as you are open, honest, and careful then what is there to stop you from enjoying life? I don't see anyone protesting people traveling the world, and there are just as many dangerous diseases and risks in casually strolling through multiple countries instead of only being committed to one country for your entire life.

Not wanting to have kids, or not being sure if you ever want them.

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OKAY. This one has been fought against a lot in recent years, but it is still a problem. Some people don't want kids, and they know they do not ever want to be a parent, but people will still say, "Oh you'll change your mind one day!" or any other cliche bull statement because they enjoying being a parent. No one should ever feel like they have to produce or adopt another human to be regarded as valuable to society.

Liking a certain type of music, tv show, book, movie... any kind of art.

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This one really eats away at my soul. How can anyone ever have any opinion on what speaks to YOU? Never be ashamed of what art makes you feel happy. Enjoy what speaks to your soul, and leave what anyone else 'might' think behind you.

Feeling like you can only like one type or genre of music or any kind of art.

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Liking different forms of art does not make you any less of a fan of your favorite or any other form you enjoy. You can literally love every kind of art ever made. I promise.

Gender Norms.

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It is 2019, no one's opinions should affect your style of dress. Yes, you should still follow dress codes and be appropriate for the workplace, school, etc. but you should not stop yourself from wearing something because it is "too girly/ boyish" or in a color more geared towards the opposite gender. Fashion is all about expressing YOURSELF not expressing what you think society wants from you.

Needing to always live at your highest means.

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This is one that bothers me more as I grow older. We live in a society that wants to impress everyone constantly, and that often leads to us exceeding our means to do so. But, if you're happy at a place that is below your means, then just be happy! You don't have to have the biggest home, nicest newest car, expensive everything... just live your life for you, and don't worry about anyone else.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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7 Social Norms I Hate Because They Make Me Judge Me More Than Anyone Else Would

Honestly... Why do we make rules if it only makes us worry about what others will think more than others would ever care?

Being monogamous, or limiting the amount of sexual partners you "should" have in your lifetime

Casual sex being viewed as bad in general.

Not wanting to have kids, or not being sure if you ever want them.

Liking a certain type of music, tv show, book, movie... any kind of art.

Feeling like you can only like one type or genre of music or any kind of art.

Gender Norms.

Needing to always live at your highest means.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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