American culture often frustrates me because we are so focused on how we appear to be on the outside looking in. How much money do we have? What clothes do we wear? What type of car do we drive? Who goes to the most prestigious university?
But someone can have all of those things and still be unhappy; sometimes we can have all of those things and still not be fulfilled. So many people suffer in silence because they are too prideful and ashamed to ask for help. Why is that? Why do we assume that when things do not always go as planned it is a reflection of our character? Why do we think that makes us look weak... and vulnerable?
People go through hardships all of the time, but American culture restricts us from sharing our sorrows with others; so, we are more likely view our problems as a burden. But, going through hard times is not a burden, it is an opportunity. We are given the opportunity to step out of our normal routines, become uncomfortable, and see the world from a different light than we are used to. Yes, there are times when we feel like nothing is going right. Yes, it hurts. And yes, it sucks to feel alone. But, this is where allowing yourself to be vulnerable comes in.
If we open up and expose our internal wounds to others, we can hear validating stories and perspectives that slowly help close that hole. We are able to recognize that maybe we aren't so alone, and the more we share and allow our hole to open up, the more we are able to fill it up with love and compassion from others.
However, before we can be vulnerable with others we must be vulnerable with ourselves. Let yourself feel the pain around you, let yourself grief, and be sad. But, then, embrace your vulnerability enough to share it, and let people be sad and grief with you because being sad with someone else will always be better than being sad by yourself. Sharing our hard times and past experiences allows us to become better versions of ourselves, because we are able to connect with people on a way that was not possible before.
Being vulnerable allows us to crawl into the windows of other people's souls; and, then we are able to see how similar struggles can be, and how it affected their lives opposed to ours. We can sympathize with people, but, once we learn to empathize with them, is how we can genuinely learn to let ourselves heal from our holes. Then, we can gain appreciation of others and how they have been vulnerable enough to conquer their hardships.
I want to encourage all of you to be vulnerable, let yourself be sad, and let people be sad with you. It takes a village and as much as I would love to say we can do it on our own, we can't. And unfortunately I have learned this the hard way.
So, love yourself, love others, and continue to embrace all points in life where you can be vulnerable. Allow others to be vulnerable with you and do not take a second of it for granted.
