There is no one way to be confident. There are times when you are about to give an important presentation or speech and you become a little nervous beforehand. You might give yourself a pep talk or imagine everyone in the room in their underwear. Whatever it may be that you do to become confident, isn’t exactly making you confident. This is called "appearing confident," or false confidence. It’s when you feel more confident but you are simply masking your nervousness with harmless white lies.
Another way people may appear confident is due to them being a classic bully. Bullies often appear confident, but on the inside, their confidence may be minuscule compared to what they pretend to be. Putting others down in order for yourself to feel more confident is not true confidence - it does not last in the long run. Not only is it ineffective, it’s disgraceful and distasteful.
“I am going to release the greatest album in the world.”
“I am going to make America great again.”
Kanye West and Donald Trump are good examples of people who radiate confidence. They are also good examples of people who seem to be, to some people, incredibly pretentious and self-centered. They are also classic bullies. They have both done things over the years to undermine their competition by dragging them to the ground in order for them to rise to the top.
There is a certain kind of power in being confident and assertive. It get’s you noticed because it is somewhat of a rarity in today's society. Lack of confidence among people is not a new discovery or concept; people are inherently afraid to fail. Granted, not all highly confident people succeed, but they do attract attention. Confidence is about knowing you may fail, but knowing that you have prepared enough to be able to accept the fall, and pick yourself back up again.
An excellent way to practice being more confident is to be more prepared. Nothing can shatter confidence more than being unprepared for something important. Not only does it take a toll on confidence, it can also cause anxiety and affect your ability to be as effective as you can be. Preparedness is key.
A way to practice looking confident is by practicing that old cliche, “walk with your head held high." A lot of times people walk around with their head down, avoiding eye contact, and looking slumped over. Next time you are walking around the mall or down the street, try holding your head up high and straighten up your posture. The same thing goes for sitting. Take up space. Don’t fold your arms and cower, sit up straight and take up space. As for meetings, negations, or a conversation, try folding your hands into a steeple and place your elbow on the table or desk or whatever it may be. This emanates confidence and power. When you look like a big shot, people tend to take you more seriously in a first impression situation. Although it is helpful to appear confident, being confident is where it counts.
Confidence is not easy to achieve, it takes a lot of practice.
Listen and try to understand instead of listening to solely develop a response. Knowledge and understanding can increase your confidence when you are faced with uncharted territory. It can also better you as a person in any situation. It’s hard, especially in today's society, to listen to understand. Everyone is so caught up in their own personal ideologies that they don’t even bother to hear what other people have to say. Well-rounded and educated people tend to be truly confident in most situations.
Remember, you can look like the most confident person in the entire world, but being unprepared, being unknowledgeable, and having no substance can make you look like the greatest fool of all.
