When you're a college student you probably get asked "What's your major?" about a million times. As the most indecisive person on the face of planet Earth, I dread this question and the stress it causes for me. This question seems to be asked way too frequently, and it creates the illusion that time is not on my side.
When I respond "I'm undecided" I get one of two responses. The first will respond with a reassuring smile and a comment along the lines of "it's good to stay open minded" or "you don't need to know what you want to do with your life when you're 18." The second response will evoke body language that shows disapproval and surprise. "Wow, I can't believe your parents are letting you do that" or "You really need to figure that out, you're running out of time." No matter which response I get, the conversation is always ended on a somewhat awkward note that leaves me questioning everything.
When I get asked this question I tense up in fear of the response I will get when I reveal I am undecided. More times than not I will get the second response of disapproval and I question everything. Is it bad to keep an open mind? Will I be behind in my course work? What if I do something I don't like? What if I can't get a job? These questions come from a place of insecurity and a place of fear for the future.
I am the type of person who likes to follow a plan and a schedule. Every night before I go to bed I make a plan for everything I need to accomplish the next day. I set goals and I accomplish them. Unfortunately, I cannot do this with my future and that is something that I have to learn to accept. Maybe it isn't so cut and dry. Maybe I can't just make a checklist for my life and complete it with relative ease. Although it's difficult, I need to transform my stress into motivation and thrive off the endless possibilities I have ahead of me as an undecided major. At the end of the day, I know that I'll be ok. I have options, and in the scheme of things I do have time to decide, even though it doesn't seem like it in the moment.
With this said, I will still admit: being an undecided major scares me.
