I was just a normal girl. A girl that woke up every day, went to school, went to field hockey practice, went home and did my homework. Same old routine. Day after Day. Week after Week. One morning I woke up and something was different. I wasn’t in the mood to go do what I loved. I didn’t feel like I had a place in the world or the motivation to keep going.

I was just having fun. Hanging out with my friends, playing games, joking around. The same thing I did every weekend. It was only 2014. I had my entire life ahead of me. Some might say it took a turn for the worst, but I ask myself every day where I would’ve ended up if that night didn’t happen. It was only a few hours into the night when I found myself on the floor looking up at all the laughing faces around the room. I, myself was laughing as well. Because what better way to hide your feelings than to laugh it off.

I wasn’t a normal girl anymore. I was a girl experiencing headaches, mental health struggles, loss of memory, lack of balance, and vision problems. I needed special accommodations to get through high school. And I watched my dream of playing collegiate field hockey slip away. I was going into the most important year of my high school career. The year I got to choose where I was going to spend the next four years of my life. But as I started the school year, I recognized a change in my mood; I became a depressed and anxious person. This mood change became apparent as I lost interest in things I previously loved: playing field hockey, traveling to experience different parts of the world, and excelling in my academics. I always had an interest in prioritizing my self-development, however, the concussion made these goals seemingly unreachable. The impact of the concussion decreased my ability to excel academically, socially, and physically.

I had to adapt to a new lifestyle. One where people would constantly ask me what was wrong. Nobody could see that I had a concussion. It’s invisible. I began getting left out of social events because I wasn’t able to track a ball down the field or go ride roller coasters. Some might not realize how difficult this was for me, or anyone experiencing a disability, to cope with, and how serious an injury like this is, but it caused me to feel overwhelmed and react in ways that people were unfamiliar. I could not understand why all of this was happening to me. It sent me into a depression that I wasn’t used to. One of the hardest things was not being able to participate in field hockey. Because I had to avoid physical contact, I had to sit on the sideline watching all my close teammates doing what I love most. But I had to focus on getting better and modifying my way of life.

As time progressed, many began to understand what I experienced and began to have empathy for my situation. People around me saw the change of personality. Adjusting to a slower paced academic, social, and physical schedule meant I needed to change my identity and become a new person. Learning to accept the new lifestyle took time, as I still strive to get back to the place I was at before. Although I am not completely healed, I still work hard in order to succeed in what I love. The concussion altered my pace of development; however, despite the change of my personality, I retained the motivation and will continue to achieve my goals.

It’s always important to remember that we never know what is going on inside of the people around us. Our world is quick to judge, but a small judgment can change an entire perspective on someone. Although I am not the same person I was before, I never stop to ask myself what could’ve been if I was still a normal girl, but instead, I’m positive about the road ahead of me. It’s okay to be unsure of what your road will be like. But in the end, we all have a path that we were meant to go down and we all have a reason for being there.