In a world where we are constantly glued to our technology, you would think being stood up would be an obsolete move at this point. We can just simply message someone and be like "Hey, I can't make it today. I'm sorry." But is that the case? No. I have been stood up a few times in my 22 years, and it never gets any easier.
I don't date very often since I'm quite shy around new people and get a lot of anxiety when I even think about talking to people I don't know. Every once in a while though, I put myself out there and download a dating app. Nothing ever really comes of it. I normally talk to a few guys for a couple days until either I stop talking to them or they stop talking to me. This time around though, I decided to do something way out of my comfort zone and I asked a guy out. I was so nervous about it, I asked everyone around me if I should and got nothing but encouragement in return.
And get this, he actually said yes. Plans were made, and I was so nervous, but excited, for what was going to come. When the day finally came around, I messaged him and got no response. "Maybe he's just busy," I thought. I went to the place we decided to meet and waited. I debated on whether or not to go inside, but I still hadn't received a response to my "Are you here?" message. There's only so much waiting you can do before you start to realize you have been stood up.
I went home dejected and sad. I deleted the dating app from my phone. I texted my friends to receive comfort from the "What a jerk!" messages, but nothing really made it better. I felt small and unwanted. I couldn't help but wonder, "What's wrong with me? What made him change his mind?"
Whether you're stood up by a date or friends, it never feels good to be left alone and forgotten. There's one thing you should always remember though: being stood up is a not a reflection of your self-worth. If anything, it shows the true character of the other person and proves that that is not someone you want in your life. It's easier to hear than to accept, but it's true.
I hope someday we will all have to decency to be able to simply cancel plans we make instead of just "ghosting" the person or not showing up at all.
It seems like such an obvious thing for people to do, and yet it still happens. Even if it seems like the hardest thing you've ever had to do because it's awkward or you feel bad, please message someone if you have to cancel your plans. You simply just have to say, "Sorry, something came up," and that's a good enough excuse! Be courteous. Trust me, it'll make the other person feel a whole lot better than if you just don't show up at all.