Here I am at 9 pm. Lights out, just typing on my computer. While most of you are reading this thinking about how relaxing this must be and how you wish you didn’t have hundreds of other things going on I think of how this is something overwhelming to me. Recalling my time at my private school is something I honestly haven’t sat down and done for a long time… by choice.

You see, as most of you know once I got out of my shy stage as a child I went straight into talking non-stop and thinking school was a social event which lead to my parents pulling me out in 4^th grade. From 4^th to 8^th grade I was homeschooled with people who no matter distance and how far apart we may grow will always be considered my family. My homeschool & Co-Op family is the reason I am the person I am today. But then after 8^th grade for a variety of reasons we all had to find somewhere else to go. Which leads me into my time at HCA.

I went to HCA for 2 years. I was on the cheer team and I tried to fit in as much as possible even acting like somebody I wasn’t to seek acceptance. I can’t imagine being bullied like some kids go through every day of their lives; so I don’t like to call what I experienced bullying rather… being “picked on” a lot. Because when I was in that school there was always something wrong with me. I was referred to as “redneck” more than I was called my actual name for 2 years. They made fun of anything they could my house, my accent, where I was from, and even my boyfriend. It was always something. Even a point in time where I was called in to the office and questioned about my “personal” life with my boyfriend (whom I had barely even had a first kiss with) by the head master because of the rumors started by kids at the school. (In hindsight I don’t really know how that was okay to do without contacting my parents or why it was there business but that’s another article for another day.)

I know that the few things I’ve listed here seem crappy but nothing major. I agree. I don’t think I’ve been harshly bullied at all but I know what its like to be in an environment where everybody is picking on you and you just aren’t accepted no matter how hard you try. But what I’ve learned from this is there was obviously deeper reasons behind them making fun of me. Some of these kids have apologized to me over the years and most of them haven’t. Which is fine, I’m 20. I don’t expect the kids from 8^th grade to text me and tell me that they are sorry for those 120 mean comments they left on my Facebook photo making fun of my now fiancé and myself. Or writing in my yearbook that they think I’m annoying (Yeah, that happened.) I do hope they know they made an impact on my life though. I now know I shouldn’t change myself for anyone. If they don’t like you for you then let them not like you. While its hard hearing the rumors and all the things they have to say to your face and behind your back it’ll make you stronger. They taught me to unapologetically be myself and nothing else. Even though I didn’t enjoy my time there I did make 3 friends that changed me for the better. Beth, Delany, and Reese helped me find the positive in every situation and all 3 of these girls put a smile on my face everyday. My point is, happiness is always your choice. People try and knock you down but there’s always been somebody around to pick me up. Please be kind to people. Some kids have it much worse than being picked on and your words have a lot of power in peoples lives. Somebody will always be around to hate on you but in the words of my favorite person “I’m just gonna shake it off.”