Everywhere we look today, there is something about "lose weight quickly," or "I lost thirty pounds in two weeks, here how I did it!" However, all of these are fad diets, and 99% of them are unhealthy methods of losing weight. I will admit I have never been smaller than a size 10 my entire life, and currently, I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been. I weight 187 pounds, and am I in love with that number? No. Am I okay with saying it? Yes, and here's why; numbers on a scale mean nothing, the size of your jeans means nothing, the size of that little pouch on your stomach means nothing.
Society has ingrained it into a human's mind that in order to be loved by everyone, we have to look a certain way. We have to fit into this cookie-cutter mold of what a woman should look like. Clothing companies nowadays make clothing catered toward slim, small-chested women. There is nothing wrong with being slim and small-chested, there is nothing wrong with being slim and having a bigger chest, there is nothing wrong with being curvy and small-chested, or being curvy and having a bigger chest. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes; if we were all the same size and everyone looked the same, the world would be a boring place.
Women's bodies are not all made the same. We come in all shapes and sizes, we come with different hair color, eye color, lip shape, etc. Each of us is beautiful and unique in our own way. I have been so hard on myself this last year-and-a-half because of my weight. I had never been over 165 in my entire life and, within a span of six months, I gained twenty pounds. I had been an active dancer, but that stopped for six months, I never had ready access to fast food growing up and living in the middle of nowhere for twenty years. When I moved away to college, I didn't dance my first semester, and my life became very sedentary. I didn't eat how I was supposed to, and that's on me. I will always admit that my eating choices are on me and I am slowly making small changes. I dance again, after auditioning for a company on my campus, but it just allows me to maintain the weight I have gained so far. I got new birth control, and I know that has been a contributing factor to my weight gain. I have my days where I stand in the mirror and pick apart everything about my body, my face, everything I can see. But I pull myself out of it by saying, "Em, you are beautiful, you are kind, you are going to be alright."
I know I'm not the only one who gets upset scrolling through Instagram sometimes and seeing all the gorgeous models and people I follow who are in incredible shape. They can wear whatever they want and have confidence I could only dream of. But I remind myself that this is social media, and social media is a new-age devil. It brings down a person's self-esteem, including myself. I love seeing what my friends are up to and sharing photos, but I take breaks every now and then for my own sake. Don't let a picture on Instagram upset you. A picture can be edited and not even look like what was originally taken. Be proud and happy to be who you are, and to look like what you look like. Never let yourself or anyone else bring you down.
You can be your own worst enemy sometimes (trust me, I know from experience), but always remind yourself that you can make a change if you want to. You are beautiful, you are worth it, you are everything you could need and more. Your worth is not measured by the size of your waist, you worth is measured by what you do in this world, and what you leave people with when you meet them. Not everyone you meet is going to like you, and that is okay. Not everyone you meet will look like you, and that is okay too.
Being okay with your body is a big step for anyone, self-love is a problem we all struggle with, I know I really struggle with it every now and again. But self-love also means different things, for some it's a new outfit and a face mask, for others it's eating a pint of ice cream, and bingeing your favorite show. Remember to take care of yourself, and to know that if you're struggling with loving yourself, it's okay, because you're not alone in that fight.
Here's proof I love myself sometimes: https://www.instagram.com/p/BxiBCGQgDcA/?utm_sourc...