Family gatherings can be tense enough without political bickering, but you know how much more frustrating an event can be when your ideologies do not line up with those of your family. You listen to the same arguments being made each and every time. From President Obama not being an American citizen to the existence of a homosexual agenda to destroy the country, you have heard it all in three different voices by the time you are able to politely excuse yourself from the gathering. You wonder how you were raised in this environment and disagree with nearly every thought they seem to share on how the country should be run.

You have tried to voice your opinions. You wait until the last possible minute, when a claim you find simply too egregious that targets a minority group (it might even be one you feel you belong to, though you would not dare let them know if you are questioning your sexuality), and then you explode. You begin to lash back with statistics you have learned and examples of programs implemented in other countries that are nothing short of wild successes. The words flow through you hot and angry while you attempt to keep an even tone, and eventually the power of your emotions win out.

And yet, your argument is for naught. The outburst has only added to their own passion. You are reminded that you are the product of a liberal public education, one they were forced to pay for with their taxes. The media has brainwashed you to believe these things.

How can you still love your family when you seem to have nothing in common in terms of how you both view the world?

Easily. You find that you easily still love them and care about them despite the political differences. Your family is your family. If you cared about them all of your childhood, back when they were praising the Bush family and shaking their fists at Kerry, you will still share that bond. Politics may shape our world, but these people helped to shape you. You may not agree with them and feel the need to speak up when their thoughts cross the line and become harmful for some group of people, but you learn the value in biting your tongue. Debating politics when it’s five to one in your family just is not worth the strife. No one will experience a change in their viewpoints when they are told a large portion of them are completely wrong. You must learn to voice your opinions carefully and thoughtfully, using “I” statements and trying to give examples of how it would feel to be marginalized by a political movement.

You are stronger for learning how to civilly discuss differences in thought. You can even find merit in some conservative ideas when you consider the background of why your family believes so strongly in them while still disagreeing on the whole. Being in a conservative environment has taught you to do research on both sides of the issues where some of your friends only take to Tumblr for facts on healthcare reform. You now know how to be an informed citizen that does not force their opinions on others like you had seen that one aunt do every Christmas but rather how to be an informed citizen that takes the time to understand before speaking.