"Becky is an incredibly talented writer. You should be proud." This is something that was said to my family last week after winter graduation ceremonies. As my adviser squinted her eyes with sincerity and smiled as she shook the hands of my loved ones I realized that would be the last time I would hear something like that for a very long time.
Let's face it, I peaked in college. I loved every freaking moment of it. I intimidated my classmates and never thought twice of calling all of my professors by their first names. I rocked a ludicrously high G.P.A. and reeked of cockiness. It's only been this last semester that really made me stop and think, 'Is any of this going to matter after I graduate? Who am I going to be without the constant encouragement of peers and faculty?". Well, that's not a question that was going to be answered in one semester let alone in the week after graduation although it seems to be a constant question on my mind. The question can be narrowed down to five simple words: WHAT DO I DO NOW?
School has literally prepared me to do zero adulting. I guess I've been in school for so long I just assumed that it would just continue forever even though gradation has been lingering around in the back of my mind like the smell of vomit long after you've flushed and brushed your teeth. In school I was given a pass because people knew me, they knew what I was capable of. No such pass will be given to me out here in the real world. Out here they expect me to work for pennies (or for free) and prove myself. They don't care how hard I worked in school or how impressed my professors were with me.
Okay, that's a bit dramatic. I've only been out of school for a week and my hypothetical they is literally based off of the one potential future employer I've spoken to although, it's still true. On a short 10 minute interview after cutting me off as I explained my experience- I was promptly told that my expectations are too high if I think I'm going to make any thing over MINIMUM WAGE for the next six years. Minimum wage? Minimum freaking wage? Are you kidding me? Is there a scenario where you can make less than the minimum wage? Isn't that why it's called the MINIMUM? If that is the case why exactly did I go to school? I could be a manager at McDonald's making more than minimum wage. I'm willing to work, that's what I do. I'm a hard worker, always have been. Although, what was the point of all of my hard work to go nowhere and instantly become a nobody?
Did I seriously waste the last four years of my life to end up working at McDonald's? Or worse, did I spend the last four years with shit that didn't stink to be kicked to the curb and be told not only does my shit stink but I do too? I don't know, you probably don't either. In a week my confidence has gone from 60 to zero. Every time I think about this I am convinced I am one sneeze away from being destitute.
