I am not sure about you, but the conversations I have with others tend to be me talking to the back of their phone. I mean, where is the intentional conversation people?? Maybe I am just a bit "old fashioned" (sad to say that a regular conversation could be considered that), but I prefer to talk to someone's face and listen to their face, not the silent clicks of their fingers typing away on their phones.
My love language is quality time, but the question that always arises is: What is "quality" to you? Quality can be a subjective concept as different people have different views of what quality is. For myself, a quality conversation with someone would be giving each other undivided attention and being genuinely interested in what the other has to say. On other days, quality time is just doing whatever the other person wants to do that day-putting them first.
People often ask me why is it a big deal to me to have time with someone aside from our phones. I did not grow up having a cell phone or cable or lots of computer time. In my family, we played games together and had dinner around a table, and we always made a point to listen to each other no matter what it was. These moments are something I still cherish to this day, and as a result I try to carry out the same "quality" with every person I meet. I think that giving someone your undivided attention even if it is just for a moment is one of the best ways to show someone that they are cared for. Everyone wants to be listened to, but so few are willing to listen.
Growing up, not a lot of people would not listen to me; even to this day people will walk away while I'm in the middle of a sentence. It hurts to know that they never really cared about what I had to say. Instead of turning that situation into something negative, however, I use it to fuel my love of listening to others and giving them the attention that I was sometimes denied.
Real friendships are created when we make connections with other people. These connections are formed by sharing memories and interests and day-to-day events. They are created by talking to someone with the intentions of just loving them for the sake of loving them and listening to them because what they have to say matters.
When put into perspective of sharing the Gospel with others and telling them about Christ, being intentional is probably one of the most important things. For me, when I tell people about Christ, it is because I genuinely want them to know His love. I remember when my view of the world started to change, once I began to see God in quite literally everything around me. I found myself in awe of God at just what exactly He has done and is doing. When I say being intentional, I mean taking time out of your day to just do life with people; to choose them over that nap that sounded so good, or to choose to talk to that one person instead of faking an illness.
Everyone is worthy of intentional time being spent on them. Everyone is worthy of being loved and of being listened to. Everyone is worthy of sharing their story because each story is incredibly unique and so very crucial to who they are as a person.
In my last article I challenged you to love someone. Today, I am challenging you to spend quality time with someone, even a stranger (although it's much more difficult with family). I challenge you to put down your phone-leave it at home and go out and learn about the people you are doing life with. Learn about their passions, listen to where they have been and where they want to go. Have those deep conversations and beautiful moments of just knowing that you are creating a quality relationship. Learn about their beliefs. All in all, everyone wants to be paid attention to in some way, learn what that way is and pursue the people in your life. It is a short life, and I think most of us would rather spend it with people than with a tiny screen in our faces.
Go out and be intentional -- have quality time with others.
