Getting hurt sucks no matter who you are. It makes life difficult whether you're trying to get from place to place or trying to complete your daily routine. Nobody likes being injured, but being injured as a student athlete is my worst nightmare.
The moment when my knee gave out was the most painful thing I have ever experienced, so I was obviously in tears; however, the tears that continued to flow in the following week weren't from pain. They were from frustration. As a soccer player, my legs are my pride and joy. They are unbelievably strong and can push me through any sprint, tackle, or kick. They are what make me who I am as an athlete. Not being able to use one of them break my heart. Not only am I unable to play the sport that I love, but I am also unable to do the most simple things such as walking and taking a shower.
So many people have asked me if I'm in pain because I have such a miserable look on my face. My answer is always no. I'm not in a lot of pain physically, but I am dying inside. One of the experiences that I treasure most is currently out of my reach. All I want is to be able to step out on that field and run.
Watching my teammate practice without me is almost too much to bear. This isn't the type of injury where I'm only out for a few days. I could be out for months. I want to be training with them. No athlete enjoys conditioning, but at this moment, I would give anything to step out on the field and run full-field sprints. It has only been a few days since the injury, and I'm already restless. Not being able to complete simple tasks on my own is hard for me to swallow. My body has always been something I could control, and now that I can't, I'm lost.
If you aren't an athlete, you won't understand why this is so difficult for me, but I promise you that this is one of the hardest things I have had to deal with.
Once my physical therapy starts, I'm going to be working my butt off every day of the week to get better. I want to get back to where I was a few days ago, and then continue to keep working. I'm going to push myself to the point of tears to shorten my recovery time. The only thing I want right now is to be on the field grinding with my team.
The only questions I have are: why me? and why now?
This broke my world into a million pieces. This hurts me more than it would hurt any other person. As an athlete, all I want to do is play my sport.
