If you search for an answer, you are likely to receive one. There are guides for just about everything that you can think of. However, it’s a lot more difficult to find a guide on how to be the perfect bridesmaid. After high school, most friends separate and move away to go to college. So when your best friend honors you by asking you to be a part of her wedding, you find a way to work everything out. What I’ve learned is that it isn’t as seamless as the movies make it look (ugh!), and there are a lot of ways to make the experience one of your own. We may have done it weird, but we did it well.
Being spread out throughout different states makes it difficult to get together for things like, say… shopping for the bridesmaid dress! This is where you can either stress yourselves out by planning a way to get together, or you can make it a little more fun. To make it easier (and if the bride likes the idea), offer everyone the flexibility to buy their dress on their own watch and according to their own style. The bride will pick a color scheme that you should stick to, and as long as you send pictures of dress ideas, and with approval from the bride, you should be good to go! This way everyone can show more of their personal style rather than having to rush home for the weekend to try on frumpy dresses that just don’t suit you as well. Win!
Something else you may run into while living in different states is getting everyone together for the bachelorette party. Have no fear... It’s called a party for a reason – you’re celebrating! Invite whomever you want and as many people as you want. Whomever is chosen to plan the party (typically the Maid of Honor) should clear a guest list with the bride before sending out that Facebook blast. After that, invite away! A bash with more than just your bridal party gives you a chance to reconnect with old friends and celebrate with close pals before the wedding. A “sneak peek” into the big night, if you will.
That being said…have two bachelorette parties. I’m not kidding. You’ll work on planning one for months, getting everyone together, finding the perfect location and then the party will commence. So much fun is to be had, but it goes by so quickly! Be a little spur-of-the-moment with your gals. Heck, after a few glasses of wine at the rehearsal dinner, find a ride downtown and keep the party going! A second and somewhat last-minute bachelorette party is just what you need to revive your bachelorette spirit one last time. Dance on tables. Sing Beyoncé at the top of your lungs. These are the things you’ll remember most about the wedding process -- not how thrilling it was to choose which napkins and cutlery you wanted.
My group may not have done everything that the stereotypical bridal party would have done, but it made the experience that much more enjoyable. Yes, we had a spa day before the wedding, and yes, we had a beautifully put-together bridal shower. If there is one thing that I learned throughout this process, though, it's that no one’s experience is the same. Every bride is different, therefore making every bridal party different. There is no guide on how to be the perfect bridesmaid, because really, it’s up to you. The most important thing is that you enrich the bride’s experience and make it a memorable one for her. Make sure that you give her your attention when she needs something; do things to help her out without being asked; make sure that everything is going well. Showing that you care and want her to be as relaxed as possible is what you’re there for. The rest is up to you!
Congrats, Anna and Michael! I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
