My life so far has consisted of being attracted to unavailability.

You may wonder what that could possibly mean. These people of my past have been in a relationship, or not be attracted to girls, or possibly just a pain old terrible and mentally unavailable or immature people. It is tough to figure out that you have fallen into a pattern that usually ends up in pain. It is hard to get yourself out of that pattern and change your type. In my case falling for unavailable people is very standard in my life.

There have been girls I have liked that were straight, people who were just plain crazy and people in relationships. Let me explain that I refuse to have any part in ending a relationship for my own selfish needs. I am not really sure why I have such terrible luck with crushes and relationships. It may have some thing to do with the thought that they would change for me, and that I could be the exception for them in their lives. They would see that I was special and worth changing for. Worth getting out of a bad relationship, worth evaluating their feelings, worth learning from their mistakes and growing as a person.

I have found that most of the people I have fallen for were not worth my time in the first place. The time it will take to start to re-evaluate what makes these types of people so attractive to me and probably even longer to shy away from wanting anything to do with unavailable people. With the holidays coming and what people call “cuffing season” approaching the pressure is on to find somebody but I need to learn how to find somebody who wants to be found in the first place.