The Introverted Extrovert

What It's Like Being A Friend Who's An Introverted Extrovert

I do want to hang out with you, just not all the time.


I've always defined myself as an extrovert, but as I get older I'm starting to question whether I am one or not. An extrovert is an outgoing overly expressive person, versus an introvert who is shy and doesn't express as loudly. In my friend group which holds about seven people, I would say 2 or 3 are introverted. I've noticed recently that a lot of my extroverted friends don't really understand why I need so much "alone time" or don't want to constantly be hanging out with them. They usually take it as I don't want to be spending time with them, which I do, I'm just socially exhausted.

When it comes to socially awkward scenarios, I'm pretty good at putting on my extrovert face and starting up conversations with someone, even if they are strangers. I'm also never afraid to give my opinion or tell someone how I feel about something; if I don't verbally say it, my face is pretty easy to read. I'm the most extroverted when I am around my close friends, I'll always tell them anything and everything, even if it's super personal. I'm always shocked when I find things out from my friends that are super simple and always say "Why didn't you tell me that?" since I tell them what happens to me every time I see them.

I work 5 days a week which don't consist of super long shifts, but that only leaves me two days that I have completely at my disposal. I have a lot of hobbies that I like to do in my free time as well as just "adulting" things that need to get done in life. I'm one of the only people in my friend group as well who is not attending college, so that's another aspect to it. They don't understand why I'm so tired all the time or why I don't want to hang out, it's just because I work and need to be by myself to recharge.

Deciding whether I want to be super outgoing or just stay inside and chill is not based on whether I'm introverted or extroverted, but based on what mood I'm in that day. If I have had a long day at work and dealt with terrible customers, I might not want to hang out with my friends that night and just chill out by myself. That's mostly where I find myself to be way more introverted than extroverted.

One of my best friends Sera is one of the most introverted people I know, her and I will usually feel the same way most times when it comes to going out and doing things when we aren't feeling that up to it. Our other friends who are all extroverted are always confused about why we would rather be by ourselves doing nothing when we could be out with them doing something fun.

This depends on the season as well, I'm much more introverted in the winter versus the summer because of the cold and hot weather. During winter I find myself wanting to spend much more time alone to clean, do projects, and just think. I don't really want to go out and do things because it's freezing and why do that when you can stay warm inside? In the summer when it's hot and sunny every day, I constantly want to be out and doing things with people. I live in Minnesota and we only have so much time to enjoy the really nice weather in the summer, so I always want to take advantage of it.

If you have extroverted friends who come off as introverted a lot of the time, just respect their feelings and moods. Don't just brush them off and think that they suck for not wanting to hang out with you if they had a hard busy week. Just let them know that you are always free to hang out when they are ready to because that shows them that you care! I respect my friendships a lot more when I notice them notice my moods and whether or not I need to recharge and be by myself for a little bit. It makes relationships a lot stronger and better for everyone.

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13 Thoughts We've All Had While Living In A Dorm

I can't remember what a normal shower feels like.

1. "I'm starving but there's nothing to eat and I don't want to walk to the dining hall."

2. "I can't remember what a normal shower feels like."

3. "I bet I could go another whole week without doing laundry."

See Also: 15 Things All Roomies Say To Each Other On Sunday Mornings

4. "I don't remember what I feels like to be rested."

5. "My neighbors are soooo annoying."

6. *tries unconventional ways to create more space*

7. "What's that smell?"

8. "I don't even know how to start cleaning up this room."

9. "I'm ready for a shower that doesn't have other people's hair stuck to the wall."

10. *sees someone taking up three different washing machines*

11. Having friends over in the dorm:

12. "Everyone in my dorm is sick so I'm probably next."


Cover Image Credit: Wayfair

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Four Quarters Will Always Be Better Than Ten Dimes, And I'm Not Talking About Spare Change

Quality over quantity any damn day.


"You would rather have four quarters than 10 dimes, 20 nickels, or 100 pennies," is a phrase that at first glance would seem to just be about money. But it actually contains a deeper meaning that could definitely serve as good advice when it comes to the friendships you have in your life.

As an ambivert, I have always found myself happier when I surrounded myself with a large group of friends. It gives you a sense of belonging, something that is a proven innate human desire. Having large groups can be fun, but they also equally have the chance of being toxic for you. There's no point in surrounding yourself with individuals if, at the end of the day, they don't make you happy. Often times you'll hang out with people just because you crave company, but not THEIR company. There is a very important distinction.

Don't let your loneliness or your desire for more friends allow you to be consumed into toxic friendships. Because I have been there and done that. Many times. It's not a fun experience. It took me time to learn, but I have learned the valuable lesson of less being more. When you eliminate extraneous beings from your life, you have more time to focus on your more important relationships and the most crucial one of all, the one you have with yourself.

I am very blessed to say that people that I am close to in my life genuinely care for me and my happiness because this was not always the case. It takes a lot of trial and error, and also greatly impacts your mental health, but finding the right friend group for you is definitely life-changing.

Choose your friends wisely, you don't want a wallet full of useless change.

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