What It's Like Being A Friend Who's An Introverted Extrovert

What It's Like Being A Friend Who's An Introverted Extrovert

I do want to hang out with you, just not all the time.


I've always defined myself as an extrovert, but as I get older I'm starting to question whether I am one or not. An extrovert is an outgoing overly expressive person, versus an introvert who is shy and doesn't express as loudly. In my friend group which holds about seven people, I would say 2 or 3 are introverted. I've noticed recently that a lot of my extroverted friends don't really understand why I need so much "alone time" or don't want to constantly be hanging out with them. They usually take it as I don't want to be spending time with them, which I do, I'm just socially exhausted.

When it comes to socially awkward scenarios, I'm pretty good at putting on my extrovert face and starting up conversations with someone, even if they are strangers. I'm also never afraid to give my opinion or tell someone how I feel about something; if I don't verbally say it, my face is pretty easy to read. I'm the most extroverted when I am around my close friends, I'll always tell them anything and everything, even if it's super personal. I'm always shocked when I find things out from my friends that are super simple and always say "Why didn't you tell me that?" since I tell them what happens to me every time I see them.

I work 5 days a week which don't consist of super long shifts, but that only leaves me two days that I have completely at my disposal. I have a lot of hobbies that I like to do in my free time as well as just "adulting" things that need to get done in life. I'm one of the only people in my friend group as well who is not attending college, so that's another aspect to it. They don't understand why I'm so tired all the time or why I don't want to hang out, it's just because I work and need to be by myself to recharge.

Deciding whether I want to be super outgoing or just stay inside and chill is not based on whether I'm introverted or extroverted, but based on what mood I'm in that day. If I have had a long day at work and dealt with terrible customers, I might not want to hang out with my friends that night and just chill out by myself. That's mostly where I find myself to be way more introverted than extroverted.

One of my best friends Sera is one of the most introverted people I know, her and I will usually feel the same way most times when it comes to going out and doing things when we aren't feeling that up to it. Our other friends who are all extroverted are always confused about why we would rather be by ourselves doing nothing when we could be out with them doing something fun.

This depends on the season as well, I'm much more introverted in the winter versus the summer because of the cold and hot weather. During winter I find myself wanting to spend much more time alone to clean, do projects, and just think. I don't really want to go out and do things because it's freezing and why do that when you can stay warm inside? In the summer when it's hot and sunny every day, I constantly want to be out and doing things with people. I live in Minnesota and we only have so much time to enjoy the really nice weather in the summer, so I always want to take advantage of it.

If you have extroverted friends who come off as introverted a lot of the time, just respect their feelings and moods. Don't just brush them off and think that they suck for not wanting to hang out with you if they had a hard busy week. Just let them know that you are always free to hang out when they are ready to because that shows them that you care! I respect my friendships a lot more when I notice them notice my moods and whether or not I need to recharge and be by myself for a little bit. It makes relationships a lot stronger and better for everyone.

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.

Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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To The Friends I Can Be Myself Around

An open letter to those whose friendships I value more than a pint of Graeter's ice cream.


There are those friends I love and care about deeply, but cannot be my true self around. Someone asked me before, "How can you call someone your friend if you can't be yourself around them?" I don't change myself to accommodate them or act in a manner unnatural to me — I just don't show them some sides of me. Growing up, some of my friends did not understand how I could ever want to write books or how I could love reading so much, so I learned at a young age to keep that side of me to myself. And yes, those are important parts of me, but my friends who did not understand it did accept it, and that was enough. Some thought it bizarre and humorous I love Celtic instrumental music or said some hurtful things about what I love that I realize now wasn't okay. But at the end of the day, there is love between us and common ground where I just remember to not mention some things.

Then there are those friends I can be my complete, unapologetic, authentic self with. The ones who support and encourage you to chase your dreams, even if they don't understand them. The ones who you can cry to about something silly, say whatever is on your mind without regretting it, and who thinks it's preposterous you refuse to fart in their presence because your other friends would give you crap for it (pun intended, and also true story). The ones you stay up late into the night talking about philosophy and crushes until your voices begin to rasp. The ones who are the closest to your heart.

I want to say thank you to these brilliant, caring, beautiful friends, new and old. Your love and support has helped me at all times, through the good and the bad and the boring. I only hope to be the same friend to you, to be open-minded, supportive, and enthusiastic. I believe it is important to cultivate a wide range of friends and support, but many of the friendships I mention earlier will most likely only be kept alive through memories; ours will last many lives to come. I look forward to growing old with you all and growing together.

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