I have always been somewhat of a loner, making friends was a challenge, so I spent a lot of my adolescence by myself. I used to think that this was because I was simply shy, but later, I found out I had social anxiety. This meant that spending time with others took a lot out of me. After years of struggle, I found that I need this time by myself, and that needing this time wasn't always a bad thing.

While most would think that social anxiety would be a downfall I think that it gave me something really great, the love of being completely alone. I find myself wishing for Saturday nights by myself, where I can just be me and not have to talk to anyone. Lately, I have even started taking myself on dates. I go to the movies by myself all the time. I think it is peaceful.

Most of the people around me think that this desire for being alone is strange, and most of the people I have dated complain about it. I never understood, I wasn't being needy or clingy so what was the big deal? I find that most people want to feel connected all the time. I don't think this is a bad thing; I just think that not very many people have the desire to be by themselves, or at least not very many people that I know.

I think that with the loss of appreciation for being alone comes the idea that activities can't be done without other people. Like going to the movies, or traveling, or mini golfing. For me, when I do these things by myself, I just get to to them for me. I don't have to worry if everyone will like the movie, or activity I picked, I can just go do it and enjoy it.

This adoration of solitude does seem to push some of the people I love most away. They think that because I enjoy doing things by myself that I don't enjoy doing things with them. It isn't that I don't like to spend time with my family or friends, it is just like I need to re-charge my battery. It is like needing sleep; I can only spend so much time awake before I crash. My time alone allows me to have the energy needed to spend time with people.

I think that in a world where everyone is connected, we forget that being alone can be a treasure. While I think that people who love to be connected are good people, I wish I knew more people like me who just love to spend some quality time by themselves. My want to spend time alone is a strength.