There is nothing wrong with just being a good friend. Yes, there are times society may make fun of us because we are not high on the list but even though it is not discussed much, the dependable ones know how to help out a friend. For me, something I tell my friends is I am here if you need me. This phrase allows them to be in the driver seat and decide if what is going on needs to be brought up or their comfort level with me and the situation. Some of my friends have said "Thanks I will keep that in mind" or others will respond with "Can we talk about this because I need your support." Being able to provide the love and support for my friends is something I love to do and pride myself on.
However, I have learned that there is a comfortable difference between dependability and trying to hard to be dependable.
If you tell someone you barely know that you are here for them it will catch them off guard but if one of your close friends is having trouble with something and you display dependability or reliability the outcome will be different. Sometimes people do not want to talk about their issues and we have to accept it. We learn to operate at times convenient for others and not just ourselves. For me, one of the hardest things is not being able to help the people I care about. Sometimes I have to sit back and let the problem be figured out itself. Now there is nothing wrong with being dependable and in fact, that is a quality people look for in friends and something I want in my life.
In one of my classes, my professor focused on influence as a tool and what stood out to me was how influence can be used in the sense of liking. Liking someone can be an unhealthy idea because there are things people might do "just because" and there are other things that can be blown out of proportion. We might do certain things because we like the person or want to show we care. Looking at how this relates to overbearing there might be times we want to help out that girl we like or make sure they need anything if they want to see you. Overbearing comes into play because we get so worried about what we want people to think of us that we don't act like ourselves. Yes, dependability is a great character but we need to know the balance between the two.
I challenge people to be dependable. I know that there is a good friend of mine that I can call and talk to about almost anything but I also know that there are people who expect the same from me. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone a personal matter but that is how we create these bonds and how you find friends for life.
