Thinking out loud is often how I operate, process and function. I share stories and experiences with friends and family, many times accompanied by an article or video to highlight my point. I'm an open book. More often than not they offer what they would do, what they have done, what I should do, and their interpretation of a situation.

"You're overanalyzing."

"You're overthinking."

"You're overdoing."

"You're not doing this enough."

I learn a lot about their opinion and perspective based on their suggestions and expectations of how I behave. I've been told who to cut slack, who to be upset with, what was acceptable behavior, when to say please and thank you, when to ask for permission, and when to ask for forgiveness. While I loved my feelings being validated some of the time by people agreeing with my sentiments and corrected at other times when they thought they had the better or wiser idea, it was not serving me.

So, I stopped listening. Mind you, I am not having people waste their breathe. I'm not dismissing what they say, rather, I am hearing them, taking what they say with a grain of salt, and following my own expectation of and code of conduct for myself. Learning the reactions of others is more telling of their frame of mind and how they view me than anything else.

At a certain point in life, whether it's a particular age or amount of experience, we know what is expected of us. We know what buttons to press, what limits to surpass, what boundaries to hold, when to retreat, when to stand up, and what is considered "normal."

We're always learning where the lines are and the lines can shift and move just as we do. I've learned from mistakes and improved from thinking critically about my behavior. A lot can be learned from taking action and not merely sitting by and waiting for the perfect idea or plan to formulate.

Without being tied down to other people's ideals, I feel free. It doesn't change how people view me, but it does change how I feel about myself and how I see me. It is paralyzing to constantly judge my actions. It gets tough to know what to do when opinions are and information is coming from everywhere. Instead of being tied down to the "supposed to's" and the views of others, I allow myself to take the lead. Brene Brown states that the names of the people whose thoughts count can fit on a 4" by 4" sheet of paper and right now, the name on mine is my own.

This is not to say I do not appreciate the thoughts of people I speak with, but I can't hop on board all the time. As my independence grows and my beliefs and values age with me, I like knowing that my decisions are my own and who I am is authentic and in line with who I want to be. I call it, living my bliss.