Alright, I’ve got anxiety, (along with a garden variety of other things, but let’s just focus on the anxiety), And if you have anxiety, or are generally just an anxious person, I’m sure you know just how hard it is to start a new school year, but if you don’t maybe that'll help you learn (and laugh).

Starting school for an anxious kid is like purposefully lighting yourself on fire and just sitting there. You know it's inevitable. you know the end of summer is here, and no matter how much you dread school starting or how many sacrifices to the gods you make, it’s happening, and it’s happening fast. After the dread of the night before, as you lay in your bed and wonder how in the WORLD you’re going to make it through the next 9 months of presentations, speeches, and general social interaction, you have to waltz into school like you don’t want to run away from the building as fast as you possibly can

The first day is essentially the very worst, you have to:

1. Meet what seems like a million new teachers, students, and random people that are WAY to excited to be here
2. Talk to people, well okay, that sounds harsh, but if you’re anything like me, you’d rather eat all your least favorite foods before you’ll talk to people that don’t know you nearly well enoug
3. See “that person”. You know, the one who you ran into in the hallway when you were texting and walking last year who you’re sure remembers you from the ten seconds of “I’m so sorry’s” that you mumbled as you ran away
4. Somehow find your classrooms - even if you’re a senior like me, there always seems to be that one class that’s in the wing of the school you’ve never even heard of and feels like you’re walking across the earth to get to.
5. And Finally, meet the teacher who will seemingly deem you fit to continue your life on this planet

After the beginning first day jitters that probably most kids feel, there’s the extra presents anxious kids get, these include:

The “why are you looking at me like that” thought every time you walk into a classroom

And a kid you’ve had science with every year but have never spoken to looks at you in that way

The “hold on let me check the room number ONE more time, just to make sure I’m not walking into freshman history when I am obviously a senior”

The “Oh crap I have no friends in this class and now I have to look not only awkward but extra awkward trying to find a seat, let alone exist the rest of this class”

And my personal favorite, the “how am I going to say “here” when the teacher calls my name because Lord knows if I say it weird I’ll be doomed forever”

So the next time you question why in the world I am looking at you like you just shot my dog, just remember I have never felt more scared to be alive than right in this moment, especially right after you told me I’d have to give not one, but two presentations this year.

And to all of my fellow anxious kids - you got this!!! I’m just as terrified as you are, but just remember, 1 in 5 kids has a mental illness, so if you ever get too scary, there is at least one other person, probably in the exact class you’re sitting in, that will back you up in any event of death, dying, terror, and//or accidental crying when you awkwardly fall out of your desk in the middle of a lecture. (trust me I’ve done it).