Do you know any a**holes? If yes, please continue reading.

The world is full of a**holes and it is our job to help them on their journey to self-discovery. So what are you waiting for? Let’s show the a**holes who’s boss!

To help you get started (or if you are a sarcastic expert already, to entertain you), here is my list of some of the finest sarcastic and anti-a**hole remarks from all nooks and crannies of the internet. Make sure to add yours in the comments so we can all live in an a**hole-free world!


Note: Please don’t be an a**hole. Use these nuggets to counter a**holism. That’s a thing. We must stop it now.

1. For the narcissists:

Oh My God! You look terrible!
Have you been sick?

You’re dark and handsome.
When it’s dark, you’re handsome.

You have such great hair.

You have such a great personality.

I’m sure that would look good on someone!

We’ve taken a vote: you’re trying too hard.

2. For the old and rude:

I wonder what you looked like before your hair turned fifty shades of grey.

You look like a million bucks! All green and wrinkled.

The only thing you should exercise is caution.

To someone your age, “getting luck” means finding your car in the parking lot.

You’re so old, the candles cost more than the cake.

If I told you to act your age, you’d die.

3. For the young and rude:

You’re so young, you think people other than your parents will believe you’re special.

You're so young, you still think you can change the world.

Your youthfulness is distracting.

4. For the clueless a**holes:

If you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.

If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re practically invulnerable.

Most people live and learn. You just live.

I wish I was as smart as you think you are.

Don’t let the facts get in the way of your opinions!

I’d like to insult you but you wouldn’t get it.

You’re the only one who believes in your talent.

5. For the real a**holes:

You’re not yourself today! I noticed immediately.

You used to be arrogant and obnoxious –
now you’re the opposite: obnoxious and arrogant.

If I wanted to hear from an a**hole, I’d fart.

Yes, the cream rises to the top but so does the scum.

I know you’re self-made. It’s big of you to take the blame!

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

6. For the liars:

You’d make a great politician!

I can always tell when you’re lying. Your lips move.

You’re so dishonest, I can’t even be sure that what you tell me are lies.

7. For the negative ones:

I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Happy eradicating a**holism, everyone!