In nine days I will leave the my home and study abroad by myself in Europe for four months. While this is an experience I have always wanted and planned on doing, I never knew how to expect to feel when the day would actually arrive.
Before coming to college, I had known I would want to take advantage of studying abroad from all of the good things I had heard from friends and family. Though it was something I was interested in, I was still hesitant when I finally handed in my application. Go to a foreign country all by myself when I had never truly been on my own or experienced anything other than what I was familiar with? It seemed like a far fetched idea that I had for myself. Regardless of my doubts and second guessing, I applied anyway and am now preparing to leave in just a few days.
Of course, the first thing I feel is fear. I fear that I won't make friends, that I will be alone and confused. I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to flying on planes and I am certainly not extremely familiar with any language other than English. A while ago, however, I realized that when I first arrive to my destination, I probably will feel alone and scared. Over the past few weeks, I've learned to just sort of accept that and shrug it off.
The second thing I feel is determination. I am determined to not be discouraged by my fear and to make this experience worth every minute (and cent) that I spend over there. I made the decision to do this crazy experience solo, being completely aware that there would not be one familiar face around to comfort, but I'm determined to be OK with that.
I also feel prepared. I am prepared to be in situations of confusion and uncertainty. I feel prepared to embrace new challenges and unfamiliar territory. I am also prepared for a life changing experience. I am prepared to have my eyes and mind opened to different cultures and ideas.
Lastly, I feel excited. I am convinced this is an experience that I will never forget and it will be something I will be glad that I did on my own. I'm excited to take on a role of independence that I have never had the opportunity to take on before in my life.
