"Everybody loves the underdog—singing, that's my dog, that's my dog."

With such a victim-encouraging culture in America, the shadow side of this archetype may be the easiest one to unconsciously live into.

Despite the understanding that most likely ALL of us experience a victim mentality in some area, many people will become riled if you suggest they're playing the victim. Victims are perceived as weak and helpless, with no agency over their own life. "Mommy, the vase just tipped over" is a classic Victim excuse by a child.

Remember, the Victim is a survival archetype. This means she developed as a response to pain in order to ensure you survive. Living a holistically healthy, enlightened life isn't the Victim's concern—she just wants to keep you ALIVE.

This visceral response to pain is difficult to overcome, and impossible without becoming aware of your instinctual responses and accepting their strength over your actions. https://susannabarlow.com/on-archetypes/understanding-the-victim-archetype/

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This archetype is sticky because sometimes things do just happen. We can't control nature. We can't control world politics. We might not even be able to control whether or not we keep our job.

There IS pain in this life, much of it valid. To pretend we have power and control over everything is equally as unhelpful as wallowing eternally in helplessness. "The only way out is through." (Robert Frost.)

The shadow side of the Victim comes in many forms. Maybe you're overwhelmed by the grief of a breakup. You should be over it by now—you know your friends all think so. And you agree with them, but you just can't. You find yourself continually wracked by grief.

Maybe you're annoyed by the incessant depression and complaining of a friend over their job or relationship and you end up fading away from them—knowing it's because of their constant self-victimizing that you do this. This makes you, contradictorily, feel like a victim yourself.

Maybe you keep saying, "If only I could find the right guy…if only I had a different job…if only I was healthy." Many fairytales—with Sleeping Beauty having to wait for a prince to rescue her, or Rapunzel trapped up in her tower and unable to escape until a prince found her, or Cinderella passively wishing for her dreams to come true—feature characters with victim complexes.

IT'S ONLY ROMANTIC IN HAMILTONhttps://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS701U...

Pain is real, and there is no way to avoid situations that we actually can't control and that break our hearts. But the only way to stop living in fear is to FACE it.

Ask yourself: in what areas of life do you most feel victimized? Your love life, your friendships, by your family, by your boss? When do you feel most sorry for yourself? When do you say most frequently, "If only…"? If you find yourself saying, "This is too hard"—that's the Victim.

When you're able to acknowledge all the areas in which you're a Victim, accept without condemnation. When the voice in your head tries to rail at you and berate you for being the Victim—that voice IS the Victim's shadow voice!

Recognize your victimness and utterly accept it—in the acceptance, half the Victim shadow's strength is gone. This will allow you to step forward into discovering the strength this archetype can hold.

THE LIGHT SIDEhttps://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS701U...

Jane Eyre, Mulan, Elizabeth Bennet, Harry Osborn, Anne of Green Gables, Edmund of Narnia—all of these characters had horrible things happen to them and found a way to rise above their circumstances, fully living into the strength of the Victim archetype.

The Victim's light side will help you create and guard your personal boundaries by helping you develop confidence, self-esteem, and strength.

The Victim tends to rear her head most in intimate relationships. If you are living into the light side of the Victim, you will find yourself able to both hold your boundaries with your lover and your family while still acting toward them in love and kindness.

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved." (Victor Hugo.) Wanting attention and empathy from others is natural. But when you find yourself content with your worth and confidence coming from inside yourself and the validation of others becoming important but secondary, that's a huge step toward accessing the Victim's strength.

You CAN be a co-creator in your life by making and standing by your own choices, empowering your decisions and yourself. Once you find yourself able to fully accept responsibility for your actions, no matter the outcome, you've found yourself on the light side of this archetype.

SO COURAGE, DEAR HEARThttps://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS701U...

Lashing out at people because they are playing the Victim isn't the loving side of the Victim: that's still being the victim yourself. Developing the Victim can give you the strength to maintain your personal boundaries with a remarkable compassion and empathy toward others. "There's a demon inside every angel--and an angel inside every demon (Akshay Vasu)." There are two sides to every coin, and the Victim is no exception.

Charles Darwin said, "We stopped looking for monsters under our bed when we realized that they were inside of us." Once you accept that your weaknesses can also be your greatest strengths, you're on the way to working WITH your Victim and becoming the best you can be.