Becoming Friends With Your Parents

"You are supposed to question yourself and your choices; you are supposed to doubt yourself; you are supposed to feel lonely and sad; you are supposed to be out of your comfort zone so that you can make changes in your life — these are all things that help us change and become better human beings.”

You know who told me this? My mom told me this. I know, she’s really smart.

Isn’t it strange and kind of upsetting how, up until a certain point in our lives, we have this vision of our parents in our minds as our enemies, not because they actually hate us and we hate them, but because they’re always trying to make us do things we don’t want to do?

I remember when I was nine or so my dad used to sit down with me behind our kitchen counter with a calculator and legal pad and would try to teach me math. It always ended in tears because I am and always will be horrible at math, and he got frustrated that he couldn't help me.

The things my dad did will always be a delicate memory to me. My dad himself though, in life and in death, had a voice that has managed to somehow remain present as one still audible within my own.

I would relive those miserable evenings spent (not) learning fractions and word problems with my dad because I am still pained by the fact that I never got to have him as a friend but instead only as a father.

What a wonderful friend I'm sure he would have been.

Many years later, when I was 16, my mom and I stumbled through the college application process. It was painful, to say the least. I do poorly under pressure and am generally frustratingly sensitive (as you may have deduced from the previous anecdote), so basically that entire year was just the worst.

And here I am now. My mom is now my inspiration, and I love that I can finally be her friend. I don't need to wish to relive the moments I have lived with her because I'm old enough now to appreciate every moment I spend with her, since I know now how swiftly they can all be taken away.

I didn't mean for this to be so personal, but I don't really know how else I would have made my point.

If you're not yet at a place where you relish spending time with your parents, or parent, or whoever it is that you love, then you need to get there. It's an important part of growing up, and it's such a beautiful feeling to feel like your own person, but also still knowing that your parents are there for you as both parents and just people to talk to.