What was it like becoming a dad?

I have been asked this a handful of times, but only recently have I been asked it. I sat and really thought about it, to sit and think about that very moment. People have asked me “Did you throw up? Did you pass out? What was it like when you first held your baby?” to answer these questions is not an easy thing, because I must be a crazy person -- I almost punched a nurse, let me explain why.

Due for many reasons my wife had a C-section, so I was already on edge. After our daughter was out and the nurses kept pushing me to cut the cord, I kept saying “is my wife okay? Take care of her now!” I was preoccupied with the well-being of my wife, once I knew our daughter was good and healthy I needed them to stop dallying around and take care of my wife.

I remember being in the recovery room with a nurse and our daughter, the nurse kept saying how beautiful she is and all these other things. While I kept looking around waiting to know for sure my wife was okay, I was on edge until she finally joined us. Once she held our daughter and they were both relaxing together that is when I finally took a breath for myself, because my whole family is safe and sound.

People will say “Sounds like you don’t love your daughter” My answer to that is that’s a false statement, I do love our daughter with every fiber of my being, but I also love my wife; two different loves but I love them both to death. Understand that my wife is my world, she is my beginning (every day we begin an adventure together), my life. I will move mountains, I will gladly rip my heart out and give it to her if she needed it without hesitation. She is my best friend. We have built a life together; we continue to build a future together each and every day. I took a vow to do anything and everything for her, to protect her and to always be there for her. If I had lost her in that delivery room I would be a failure, I failed to protect her from harm, I failed to be there and even try help her.

Now I love our daughter and I will protect her just as well. I will be the best father that I can be to her; I have written and talked about it in the past. But during the delivery and I knew our daughter was healthy and going to be fine, that moment of becoming a father did not even hit me I was too busy worrying and caring about my wife. I think the moment of “I am a father now” did not hit me until one night when Kelsey fell asleep next to me and Norine slowly fell asleep as well within my arms. I remember that moment, because I looked at both of them sleeping soundly and peacefully. I thought to myself “I am a husband and thanks to Kelsey I am a father now." It was heartwarming and gave me motivation to do everything in my power to make them happy. If they want the moon, I will get it; if they want Chinese food that is on the other side of town, I will go get it; there is nothing I won’t do for each of them.