You don't notice it at first. It's more of a gradual change, slowly becoming more apparent as the weeks go by. It starts with the "Sorry I'm busy" texts and then eventually when they find the time to hang out, they spend the whole time texting someone else or half-listening to anything you have to say. You ask yourself when you became second choice until it's so bad you wonder if you were ever first at all.
In reality I suppose I might be exaggerating. Of course I don't expect to be the main priority in anyone's life. I don't expect to be the only person in anyone's life. That just isn't reasonable. I know my friends have relationships and other friends and I have mine as well. But I do expect a certain reciprocity from my friends. I do expect you to not be on your phone when I'm trying to talk to you. I do expect for you to make some time for me, like I would do for you.
Of course it's hard keeping a balance between all of your friends, family, work, etc. I know that just as much as anyone else. But if I'm calling you my best friend, I would like to think you would respect our time together. If we're hanging out and you're on your phone the whole time having another conversation, how do you expect me to feel? If you change our plans last minute to hang out with someone else or forget about plans we've made, I'm not going to simply be okay with it.
In a way, it's not surprising. People move on and get busy, technology takes over people's lives, tempting us with instant communication and gratification. I know I'm guilty, everyone is. However, it's becoming a more obvious theme. I don't want to feel like a second choice to technology or other people when I'm with you. I don't want to feel like a second choice when you forget about our plans or cancel last minute.
It gets hard when two friends grow up and start making other friends. But I don't think it's okay to forget about your old friends for the sake of always seeing your new ones. It's hard to keep a balance, and no friend is better or worse, but it's a different story when you're blowing me off for someone you met a week ago when we've been friends for years.
I don't want to always feel like your second choice friend. I don't understand why it has become okay to blow off the friends we've had for years because someone new comes along. It doesn't seem polite to be texting a boyfriend or girlfriend or another friend when you're hanging out with someone else. I don't have to be your main priority all the time, and I don't expect to, but I don't want to be your second choice friend.
