In 4 Years, I Became The Confident, Happy Person I Had Wished To Be
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

In 4 Years, I Became The Confident, Happy Person I Had Wished To Be

What once felt impossible is now my reality.

184
In 4 Years, I Became The Confident, Happy Person I Had Wished To Be
Shani Goloskov

As I write this, it's August 24. My 21st birthday.

I went in to renew my license today. I saw the date on my old license, 2014, and was reminded of how long ago that was.

It's only been four years, but it feels like so much more time has passed.

An insane amount has changed in those four years. I've changed a great amount in those four years.

Four years ago, I was a senior in high school without a clue. Now, I'm a senior in college who wishes I could ignore the knowledge negative experiences in the last few years forced upon me.

Four years ago, I was still learning who I was. Now, I know that I am a writer, an actress, a theater lover, a good girlfriend. Someone who has come to love herself and is making strides in taking better care of herself.

Four years ago, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. Now, I'm an official mass communications major for public relations, with a minor in theatre arts to keep what I love in my life. I joined the Odyssey and learned how much I love writing, and use that to push myself forward every day. I've worked two internships in two different areas of communications and learned a lot from both. I've refined my writing skills.

Four years ago, I didn't know what I was good at. I now know that I can write. I can sing, dance, and act. I'm good at organizing. I'm a solid barista.

I'm good at being someone who cares about others. Someone who loves with all her heart even if it means getting hurt a lot, because it's worth it to care that much about others. Someone who can stand up for herself and refuses to be walked over.

Four years ago, I finally made friends after spending most of my life rejected and alone. Now, I no longer have those friends in my life. My number of friends is significantly smaller than it once was, but I've learned the truth behind the saying "quality over quantity" when it comes to friends and the people you keep in your life.

Four years ago, I hated myself. I was just coming to terms with the official labels of "anxiety," "depression," and "OCD" that now applied to my life, that explained all the mental turmoil I had been dealing with for years with no knowledge about what I was dealing with or why. I was happier than I had been just a year before, but I still got depressed and occasionally had suicidal thoughts.

Now, I love myself. I still have days where I find myself hating myself and my body, but those days happen significantly less than they used to. I'm back in therapy and started medication, realizing that both are not signs of weakness and are important to taking care of my mental health. I've embraced the fact that my mental diagnoses are a part of me and will always be in my life, and am learning to live with that.

Four years ago, I was a very different person on the verge of her whole life changing yet again. Now, I'm exactly who I wished to be four years ago.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Alexis Hoffman

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we all know that cutting out social interaction has taken its toll.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked Instagram How 2020 Was, And Maybe It Wasn't The Worst Year Ever

2020 is a year to remember but it's not as bad as we made it out to be.

9457

It's finally 2021 and we're honestly all just happy that 2020 is over. I decided to ask my Instagram followers how they felt about 2020 and the results were a little more mixed up than expected.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ever since I watched "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days," I've been a major Matthew McConaughey fan. I've seen most of his movies, and I definitely got way too excited when he finally made an Instagram! So when he announced he would be releasing a memoir titled "Greenlights," I knew I absolutely had to get my hands on this book. And so did the rest of the world, as the book began to flood social media.

Truthfully, I would much rather read a fiction book and dive into another world than read a nonfiction book - even if it is one of my favorite celebrities. But I had a feeling this book wouldn't disappoint or bore.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

The Armie Hammer Scandal Discourse Is Kink Shaming And Harming Actual Victims

The rumors surrounding Armie Hammer has resulted in some very toxic and harmful discourse.

622

Sex is something that occupies a very significant place in our lives. Even asexual people can have an active sex life. With the various types of people that comprise this world, it obviously results in various sexual interests. And unconventional people can engage in some pretty unconventional sex practices. Even the most conventional people on the surface might surprise us with their sexual fantasies.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

The Top 10 'Sex and the City' Episodes You Need To Revisit Before The New Series

In anticipation for the upcoming series, "And Just Like That," here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.

263
HBO

"Sex and the City" has become quite the franchise since its premiere in the late nineties. The series lasted six seasons and even produced two films. Fans of the show were anxiously awaiting a revival, even if their hopes seemed futile. Kim Cattrall, who plays Samantha Jones, recently spoke out saying she would not return to the show. Cattrall explained that she was never friends with her co-stars and even had a difficult relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker.

In the wake of Cattrall's revelation, rumors swirled the series would come back without her. On January 10, a new teaser was posted on social media for the new series, "And Just Like That." Now that a revival is officially confirmed, here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

My New Tattoo Reminds Me To Love Everyone With Intention—And Yes, That Includes Myself

I've realized that love has almost nothing to do with agreeing and almost everything to do with grace.

5561
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

I'm a big believer that everyone has a story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lum3n

Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments