Let me start off by admitting that this article has taken three years worth of love, laughs, confusion, loss, feeling lost and broken and then feeling nothing at all for me to finally write. This is not meant to be words written to hide behind but hopefully words to inspire someone reading this afternoon.
At some point in your life, male or female, you will find someone that you swear has hung the moon. You find them exciting and laugh at their ridiculously bad jokes like they are the next Kevin Hart. You are blissfully happy that somehow God has allowed you to meet "the one" at such a young age. You love without abandon with no concern for the future because not being together just won't happen. Your significant other has won your heart by picking up burgers for you at the local burger joint (they know how much you despise the caf food). He or she knows how much you love to randomly dance and though they are not nearly as excited to dance, they dance anyway. They dance for you. This bliss of new love is amazing and dizzying. Both of you are immensely swept up in each other. The rest of the world ceases to exist. Then one day, it's over. This incredible person that you have bore your heart and soul out to, doesn't want you anymore. You don't see it coming. Even they don't see it coming. The break up just sort of happens, and now you're single. The sad part is that you really don't remember how to be single.
So how do you feel once you lose the one you thought was the actual one for you? Lost? Unloved? Desperate? Afraid? Confused? Betrayed? Broken? There is no right or wrong answer. Perhaps you feel all or maybe none of them. I guarantee you aren't overly zealous to tell your friends and family, though. Or worse yet, your significant other's mother, because they have not gotten around to telling her yet. Trust me, crying to your ex's mother over the phone after she invites you over to visit and telling her no because you don't think you can stand seeing her son's picture all over the walls is not an easy task. Regardless of how you feel and who you talk to or see right after the break up, that time of your life is not something you will likely want to re-experience.
Maybe you have a great support system that you are able to lean on during this time in your life. Maybe you turn into a recluse as your nights and days become altered. Some people make dramatic changes like getting a tattoo or going on a crazy diet (this diet may be an endless supply of soda and pizza). Maybe you hold yourself together in public but break down in the solitude of your bedroom. Honestly, whatever is your out, I am proud of you. I hope it is a small but beneficial period of your life. Additionally, I really hope that you learn to put your trust and confidence back into yourself. I hope that you find a way to smile on your own. I hope you reconnect with old friends but not old flings. I hope you better yourself and are a light to others now. No matter how long it takes you to reach this point post-break up, three months or even three years, I want you to know that you have always been worth everything and then some to someone 1,000 times better than your ex.
No, I am not talking about your mother. Though, she is likely still better than all of your exes ever –– combined. I am talking about our Father. Wait, no. Don't click off of this just yet. This is important.
Did you know that He, God, Jesus, the Holy One, has always and will always love us like you thought you loved your "one?" Here's the really great thing, you don't have to direct message Him on Facebook or send Snaps via Snapchat to catch His attention. Admittedly, I got upset with God a couple times after my boyfriend and I broke up. I didn't understand how He would allow me so much hurt. I was so happy. There are still days I sit pondering when God will send me my actual significant other. That's the beauty of life. He knows. We don't. Nevertheless, God loves us with a more powerful love than we ever felt for our "the one." I'm not saying that after reading this, your future husband or wife is going to walk into the same coffee shop you're in and all will be right in the world. What I am saying is to not rush into relationships because you're tired of being single. On the contrary, don't be afraid of a relationship if one saunters your way. God knows what's up, even when we do not. That, my friends, is the beauty of life.
