Millennials. The generation of social media: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. I’ll admit, I have all three avenues of social connection and I have fallen into the trap.

My life is filled with beautiful people. And yes, they are truly beautiful. I see their selfies on Facebook, Instagram, or whatever social media platform they post upon. Very rarely do I not “like” the post, and when I do, I genuinely do like their picture. I have beautiful friends, classmates, family, with even more beautiful hearts.

Some mind boggling statistics. Not something to be proud about.

“53 percent of American girls age 13 are unhappy with their bodies.”

In just four years, this statistic grows to 78 percent.

92 percent of girls would like to change something about their physical appearance that being their body weight with leading cause.

“1 in 4 girls today fall into a clinical diagnosis—depression, eating disorders, cutting…” (Heart of Leadership, 2013).

These statistics concern me and cause me to raise the question: “WHY?”

The perfect girl on Instagram? She doesn’t exist.

I'm a college student and I understand that the statement above is easier said than believed. I still don’t believe it completely. The reality, though, is that I am writing to hopefully give inspiration to the girls of teenage or grown-age an epiphany. I hope it works.

I am on Instagram for far more time than I would like to admit to my parents and I’m sure you are too. I see pictures of dogs, pictures of families, and of course, the infamous, yet intimidating selfie.

Wow. That's all I say. I quickly click on my profile to compare my previous selfies and pictures to the flawless one I have just encountered. I won’t lie. I get up from my bed, I look in the mirror and I am disappointed (I know I can’t be the only woman who ever feels this way). When I click back to stare at the selfie again, I find a disturbing attribute to the post: 251 odd likes.

I have yet to reach that many likes and so have my closest girlfriends.

But, she is not perfect. The more I admire the portrait she took herself, the more I calm down. There are a lot of things to go into a selfie. There is, in fact, an art to taking a selfie. She is filtered—black and white. She looks dramatic and posh. It is obvious she is near a window with natural light.

But she doesn’t exist. “Perfection” is just an outlook, an opinion. And I am sure the club called women would agree that these selfies are perfect.

Once again, the more I delve into this issue the more I find an uncomforting butterfly swell inside of my stomach and a skipped beat in my heart.

Women are much more than selfies. And I hope I am a good role model for this.

I believe that a selfie is necessary occasionally, or every day if it makes you feel good. The fact of the matter is that you should post what you want and whenever you. However, the girl with 251 likes is not you. You are more than your selfie. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Although beauty and style are pleasing to our eyes, education, maturity, compassion, and conviction makes you who you are. Do not settle for just being the girl who has 251 likes on Instagram. You have much more depth and layers to you than that simple and easily obtained attribute.

Growing up, my mother and father always told me how beautiful I was, but they also instituted my intelligence, compassion, hard work, etc. And despite my aggravation and dispute, they explained that people were jealous of me. Yes, me. I never viewed myself as someone who was “beautiful,” “or intelligent,” and especially not someone who created jealousy. Yet, as I grew and aged, I realized people did look to me for my maturity, advice, and compassion. It was hard for me to accept but people loved me for my traits, and people were jealous of that. I can assure that the people who I grew to find were jealous were some of the most drop dead gorgeous people (on the outside) that I had ever met.

This is my proof that you are more than your appearance. You are intelligent and you are involved in school be it music, sports, art, or just friendship. You are concerned about politics, you are concerned about the environment, about the homeless, the veterans, etc. You care. You have a further span of knowledge than your beauty reaches.

So no, you may not be racking up 251 likes, but you have far more than 251 reviews about your work ethic and kindness. I guarantee it.

Women are ruthless. “Go above your nerve.”

In my generation, I believe that social media plays an extensive role in body shaming. Women are ruthless. Does it need to be said again? Women break each other down and it blows my mind. Why? We all want the same stuff along the same lines. So where does the division start? To cite my mother, “jealousy.” Do not play into their games, their cruel words, and especially do not play into their Instagram selfie.

Although everyone strives to look their best, comparisons should not be made. They are unfair. You will always find something wrong with you and something better with “her.” She isn’t better and neither are you. You are equals. The perfect girl on Instagram doesn’t exist but her terrible personality does. Rise above that. Do not strive to be “perfect” by throwing away your kindness. It is not worth it. You are no less than any other girl on the face of this planet due to income, appearance, intelligence, or status. Do not give in. Say it with me, “I AM NO LESS THAN ANY OTHER WOMAN. I AM AN EQUAL.” Say it in the mirror, sing it in the shower, in the car, and scream it into your pillow. Say it until you mean it. I am a firm believer that the more we learn to love ourselves, the more we learn to love each other. The statistics posted above are unsettling and unfair to all women in general. When we divide ourselves from self-love and loving each other, we all lose. No one wins.

I will state it again, the perfect girl on Instagram does not exist. You exist. Rather than comparing yourself to a filtered, edited, and perfectly captioned picture, work on self-love and what truly matters in a world filled with hate, sadness, and ignorance: compassion, education, and leadership. You are worthy.

Dedication: my two best friends.

Liz and Jilly,

I hope neither of you ever compare yourselves to anyone else and I hope you never doubt your self-worth or beauty (inner or outer). I am proud each day of your accomplishments, hard work, humor, care, and most of all, your outstanding friendship. I love the both of you more than you will ever know. Never doubt yourselves.

Statistics on Girls & Women’s Self Esteem, Pressures & Leadership Heart of Leadership. (n.d.). Retrieved January 30, 2017, from Heart Of Leadership.