If I had to place all of our memories together into one category, it would be labelled “Madness at Max Capacity”.
You made high school more exciting in both the best ways and the worst ways. My time spent with you was full of a lot of laughs, a lot of tears, and a whole lot of drama. We’ll leave that between us (and I suppose the group of friends who watched our downfall), but for now I feel it’s more important to talk about what happened after we went from amazing friends to strangers in the course of a month.
Like most “friend breakups”, as I hear they’re called, the beginning was rocky. Very rocky indeed. I was afraid to be near you because I wouldn’t know if I would yell, cry, or just try to act like we had stopped being friends. Of course, you made the decisions for us, avoiding me in every way possible, acting as though our friendship either never affected you or as if we had never met in the first place. To this day I’m still not sure which it was.
I felt bad for the mutual friends around us. Some of them were either closer to one of us; they knew who they would stay with for what would be the next year of high school. Others, unfortunately, didn’t know if they had to choose a side, and honestly I’m glad they never left either one of our sides entirely because you needed them as much as I did. I’m very thankful our feud, if I should even say "feud", I don’t know, was kept only between us. It was our problem, no one else's.
However, as I said before, you made sure that our contact with one another was kept to near nothing (school has a funny way of forcing two people who don’t want to talk to each other together), but in all honesty, this only hurt us more. So many questions constantly met my mind, and I knew I would never receive an answer. Were you ever really my friend? Do you ever wish things would have gone differently? Sometimes I do… One day in particular where I wish I would have held my tongue. Maybe things would have been different with us.
I just hope you know that the way it ended… I was never angry. I really hope you understand that I was never angry when you decided we were done being friends. For the most part, I understood your reasons. More than that, I respected your decisions because in more ways than one this was for the best. We were only hurting ourselves more by trying to stay friends, but we still hurt each other.
Regardless, I guess I can’t say everything ended horribly. We just couldn’t stay away from each other for too long, but it was clear nothing between us would ever be the way it was before. That’s okay, I kept all your secrets anyway. I just hope you kept mine. I can say that I’ve seen you every so often, and for the most part you seem to be getting on okay.
I hope you are at least, and with that I’ll consider this the end of my letter to you.
With love,
Lizz
