Can I tell you something? I used to struggle with self-hate, low self-esteem, depression, and bulimia. Many sessions of counseling thanks to counseling services on campus (I highly recommend counseling services for any issue you may face. It is such a wonderful experience, and I think many students would be surprised about how healing the experience can be), and I am much better. However, it's not an easy process healing from those very hurtful problems, and healing had to take place outside of the counseling room as much as it did inside.

I learned that, if I wanted to get better I had to be intentional about it. I had to work very hard to get better. Think of how much work it takes to get a six pack or to lose weight. It's the same thing, but this time it's for your mind. I was fascinated when I realized that I treated others better than myself. I had done it for such a long time it didn't click for me until I was reading the verse in the book of Mark that essentially says, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Then I started to think about it, and I realized I am a great neighbor, but when it comes to caring and loving myself, I fail.

Think of your friends, your moms, your aunts, your grandmas, your sisters, and all of the other ladies in your life. Now name one nice thing you've heard them say about themselves. Just one.

Maybe you're lucky and you come from a family of women that isn't afraid to be themselves, to boldly step forward and make their own path, but more than likely, many of the women in your life face some of the issues that I've faced.

It's hard, looking at all of your humanness and loving yourself, flaws and all. You stare in the mirror and pick apart your acne, your freckles, your stretch marks, your chubby face, and your hair. You want to be be someone else, but who wants to be someone else's knock off version when you can be the original version of yourself?

So here's my challenge, I want you to boldly love yourself, to fall so utterly in love with yourself that you stand up for yourself, that you take care of yourself, that you feel confident, and that you aren't afraid to be who you are because you're worth it. It's not an easy process. It's long and a lot of hard work, but you can do it. Just keep telling yourself that you're going to do the next good thing for yourself, and then do the next one, and the next one. Take it one step at a time, and you'll get there, I promise you will.

Here is an activity I did that got me thinking about how love functions in my life and what it looks like. In a journal, answer these questions in the allotted time span.

1. Make a list of ways that you care for others and show love- (3 minutes)

This is a complex question, but we can simplify it just by thinking of all of the things that we do for other people. Do you make sure others are fed well? Are you a great listener? Did you tell someone that they look beautiful today? Do you go out of your way to make sure others have things that they need? Do you help others without expecting something in return? Those are just some examples, but list as many ways as you can think of that you care for others and show love to others.

Those are just a few examples of what love looks like in our lives, but let's flip that question.

2. Make a list of ways that you care for yourself and show love- (3 minutes)

This might hurt, a little. I know it was hard for me the first time I really thought about it, but for this step, be honest. Do you commit your time to too many things? Do you feed yourself well? Do you listen to yourself? Do you do things you don't really want to do? Do you allow others to use you? Do you have a schedule that optimizes your health and life? Those are just some examples, but list as many ways as you can think of that you care for yourself and show love to yourself.

3. Now compare the lists.

Did you notice any areas where you took great care of others, but you don't do that for yourself? Did you notice any areas in which you said, "I can do better?" I know for me I realized that I had no problem giving my time away to others to the point that I was utterly exhausted and stressed. So, I realized that I needed to schedule more time for myself and stop making commitments to do things that I didn't want to do.

4. Now write another list of things that you like about yourself (including physical compliments) and briefly state why- (7 minutes).

Was that hard? I bet you wanted to write things like my eyes are okay. I'm a nice person. That's fine, but does that really get to the core of who you are? So who are you? Write that down. Then don't ever forget it.

We can do hard things because we are worth it.

We can. We can love ourselves and care for ourselves as much as we care for others, and we must ladies. Don't we want the next generation of fierce women to say they learned it from their mothers, their sisters, their cousins, their aunts, their grandmothers that they are worth it because you showed you were worth it first?

Be fierce ladies. Be brave.

Sidenote: I am not a professional therapist or licensed counselor, nor do I claim to be. This activity is intended for reflection and is not to be used as a prescriptive form of counseling. To schedule an appointment with a counselor at Austin Peay State University, please call: 931-221-6162. Counseling services are free to students at APSU. If you go to a different university then google "[name of your university] and counseling services]". If this proves to be unsuccessful call your university's admissions department and ask to be transferred. That's what works for me. Either way, HELP is out there, and don't ever be afraid to ask for it.