Ladies (or gents), I have three questions for you to ponder:

1. When you walk by yourself, do you find yourself avoiding eye contact with strangers? Pay attention.

2. Which strangers aren't you making eye contact with?

3. Why?

Almost every day I walk to class by myself. Most days I prefer to be in the moment, and observe and enjoy my surroundings. One particular morning I was walking through Brookings Quad to get to my next class, with my headphones out. I made eye contact with an unfamiliar man who was jogging toward me from a distance. As people traditionally do to avoid awkward exchanges, I quickly looked away and busied myself with studying the leaves of the shrubbery I was passing. After a few seconds, I looked back, and the man was still staring at me as he jogged closer. His gaze was piercing and incredibly uncomfortable.

I suddenly became hyper-aware of what I was wearing. Patterned leggings. What was an exciting piece of exercisewear I picked out that morning became a threat to my safety seconds later. Too tight, too revealing. Must have been what she was wearing. A news headline scrolled through my thoughts, like the ones I've seen so frequently before. I felt like a deer in the headlights. My face must have shown it. My mind raced with a thousand ways to defend myself, many of which had been previously rehearsed (in my mind). I had a pencil in my back pocket. My backpack was heavy enough to throw him off balance if he tried to grab me.

He jogged past, continuing to make eye contact up until he passed behind me on the path.

I exhaled the breath I was holding, then shook myself. Overreacting again. A mere 15 seconds had passed since I had initially made eye contact with him, I tried to dispel that strange unsettled feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. Again. But this time was different. This time, I pulled that feeling up to the surface instead of pushing it away and finally realized exactly what I was feeling: irrational fear.

Many people, especially men, tell me they don't know a woman's experience, understandably so. I will attempt to explain, yet will also unwittingly generalize in order to do so, and I apologize in advance. This situation is also not due to location, as WUSTL strives to ensure a safe campus for all its students. My graphic description serves to provide detail for experience, but in no way am I trying to villianize the jogger around which this anecdote revolves. He probably was unaware (and rightfully so, as he is a stranger) that his staring was unwanted and unappreciated, and was causing me to have a strong reaction. This story is about a reaction.

Many women can probably attest to experiencing a similar situation of objectification and fear for one's personal safety. Nothing physically happened. I was not physically or verbally threatened, unlike millions of other women who are not so lucky. Yet that moment illuminates an important issue that faces the women of our country.

We are taught as young girls that we are targets, and that we are vulnerable to attack. We are taught ways to act, dress, and speak that does not provoke at first the boys and teachers at school, then the men walking down the street. We alter our habits and schedules to revolve around "the most safe times to be outside." If sexual assault and violence against women do occur, it is most likely our fault because we didn't do a good enough job being unprovocative.

I doubt I am alone when I say I am always monitoring the number and movement of men when I am by myself. Preoccupation with the location of male strangers around me can distract me from conversations. I think of ways to disarm someone, instead of memorizing the number of atoms in plutonium. I can't run at night. I can't walk past a construction site without worrying if I will get an unsolicited comment from the worker staring at me. I have a one-in-four chance of being a victim of sexual violence.

I could write a whole separate piece on female empowerment and how we should take back our bodies, and yet another on how American women are very lucky compared to women in third-world countries, warring nations, and intolerant governments. For now, though, I attack the culture that tells me that I am a target that should fear the man running toward me.

And I'm done with being afraid.