At 16-years-old, I thought I knew what love was. I met someone I became attached to. The phrase, “I love you" was thrown out in the first six-months and I thought I was in love. Of course, like most relationships in high school, it faded after a few short years. I had reached my senior year and knew that I had a whole new world and life ahead of me. The excitement of going to college and meeting so many new people became my new focus and the guy I had thought I loved, soon faded away.

For some reason, I liked the feeling of having a boyfriend. The feeling of being loved was all I wanted. Soon, I found myself wound up meeting another guy before I got the chance to set free at college. We had met just a few weeks after summer started and there was an instant connection, but this felt like a different type of love. Maybe it was because he was older, someone I had never known. I wasn't sure what it was. I matured a lot while at college with him by my side. We were really in love. But this too only lasted two years.

The only difference was, I broke up with him so I could be in love with myself.

I needed time to myself and I wanted to experience life on my own. I never really knew what it was like to live my life alone. For almost four years straight I had loved with someone by my side. I always had someone there, someone to talk to and do things with. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it was something I knew I had to recover from. I had to recover from the dependency on always having someone by my side, the fear of going out on my own and the trust in myself to know I was going on the right path, making the right decisions.

I decided to leave my life in Iowa behind. I found a job, signed a lease, packed my car, and headed to the West Coast for the summer. I knew I had to get away. I had to find my way out of all the mess and confusion I was in. I didn’t know why my heart led me to this place, but I knew I needed to grow on my own.

I learned to depend on myself and be the only one to make myself happy. I lived life on my own and tried to figure out where I wanted my life to go. Whether that be in the future or the present, I needed to figure it out on my own. I missed my family at times, but knew they were just a phone call away to support every decision I was making. I was so used to seeing them almost every week, so only seeing them once in a matter of two and a half months was pretty tough.

As the months came to an end and my flight back home was approaching, all I could do was smile and be happy with where I was at in my life. I learned so much and opened myself up more than I ever had in my life. I made new connections and walked the city with no fear of what was to come. I, for once, lived life just for me.

To this day, I still stand alone going through the motions of college and everyday life, but it’s all I ever wanted. I am so grateful for everything in my past as it has led me to this amazing place in my life. I have learned to fall in love with myself. Of course I’m not perfect, but I also never want to be. Because when you accept your imperfections, it gives you something to live for. Something to work for and continue to grow with yourself to be the best you can be. Life is short, so follow your heart and know that there is a reason for every heartache and happiness along your journey.