College football is back, and you want that means: loud, obnoxious boys chanting at the top of their lungs with the team logo painted boldly on their chests while the girls sitting around them take selfies and try to keep up. While I (one of those girls probably taking selfies) am a football fan, tailgating is truly my favorite sport. There's so much going on at and before a college game that my ADD kicks in and there are about a million things taking my attention away from the fact that there's a real life sporting event. Here's a basic girl's guided timeline to a successful (or not so successful) first tailgate that may (or may not) end in watching an actual football game.
4:30 PM: Hit up Bojangles for a last minute meal and a large water.
4:45 PM: Pour our water and fill the Bojangles cup with Barefoot Pink Moscato (a go to for basics everywhere).
5:00 PM: Party Bus arrives to take you and all your girlfriends to tailgate for the 7:30 game.
5:10 PM: Party Bus actually leaves.
5:12 PM: Someone takes over the aux and starts playing Ignition (Remix) by R. Kelly.
5:13 PM: Loud singing and screaming will continue for the entire 20 minutes it takes to get to the tailgate lot 3 miles away.
5:30 PM: Arrive at tailgate and advise the bus driver to avoid the cops.
5:35 PM: Start strutting the tailgate with all your girls feeling like a mix between Taylor Swift's squad and the Cheetah Girls.
5:37 PM: Put hair up because it is way too hot and you're already sweating.
5:45 PM: Spot a fraternity that's giving out food and steal all the mac and cheese because you're already hungry again.
5:50 PM: Make your first tailgate round to see all of your friends.
6:00 PM: See a puppy and immediately squeal with excitement and take at least 3 snapchats with it.
6:20 PM: Your favorite song comes on at your favorite fraternity's tent, so, yes, it's time to break out all of those embarrassing dance moves.
6:50 PM: Realize you've been ugly dancing with your best friend for way too long and it is time to move on.
6:51 PM: Realize you have to pee more than you ever have in your life and die a little inside because porta-potties are the only option.
6:52 PM: Wait in a long hot line for way too long to use a gross, hot bathroom
7:00 PM: Finally it's your turn, a.k.a time for the greatest balancing act of your life: butt above the seat, avoid putting your purse on anything, and hold your breath if you can.
7:03 PM: Free of pee, and the smelly porta-potty, do another round of the tailgate scoping out where the squad you rolled up with has ended up.
7:10 PM: Find half of your group playing corn hole and give up on finding the others (they have each other, right?).
7:11 PM: Spot your crush and convince him to play the next corn hole game with you.
7:15 PM: Realize when your corn hole game starts that your partner stands across from you.
7:16 PM: Remember you're horrible at corn hole.
7:17 PM: Get interrupted by the boys because it's time to head to the stadium.
7:20 PM: You and your bestie tag along because otherwise there's no way you could find it on your own.
7:30 PM: Get in line and listen to the boys complain about missing kick off.
7:30 PM and 30 seconds: Realize you don't even know who State is playing.
7:38 PM: Get to the front to find that you forgot your ticket and your phone is dead from taking too many selfies.
7:39 PM: Beg one of your friends to leave with you.
7:45 PM: Request Uber.
