Most millennials are familiar with the "Starter Pack" meme. After months of serious observation and scientific research, here is the comprehensive FHU basic apparel starter pack. Enjoy.
1. Chacos
Perhaps the most noticeable cliche FHU wardrobe feature, chacos are more popular than literacy on Freed's campus. Almost literally, everybody and their mother at Freed owns a pair of Chacos. I don't own a pair in an effort to not spend a boat-load of money on a pair of sandals (if you want to start a GoFundMe in my name, I wear a size 13), but they are incredibly hip. If you want to fit in, get a pair. If you want to be cool, don't.
2. Vineyard Vines, etc.
Really, any cotton t-shirt with a semi-recognizable logo will work, but Vineyard Vines is the big hitter (along with the Southern Shirt Co.). Something about that creepy, smiling pink whale is super cool. Maybe it's the alliteration in the name? I don't know, either way a cool cotton shirt is a must-have to fit in at FHU. If you are a female on Freed's campus and want to fit in, you have to get the shirt 2-3 sizes too big and wear it over a pair of yoga pants or other questionably FHA bottoms.
3. Anything Patagonia
Oh yeah! Nothing says "cool" like Patagonia. I mean, look at that sick logo! Really, you can have a Patagonia t-shirt, a Patagonia hat, a Patagonia sticker on your laptop or water bottle, and you're going to fit in just fine. Rumor has it that if you wear a Patagonia hat, a Vineyard Vines shirt, and Chacos all at the same time, you will be honorary president of SGA. Actually, I think that's how Paul Garretson got elected, but nobody knows for sure.
4. Club apparel
Thankfully, this piece of basic FHU apparel can be purchased from the school bookstore. Anybody who's anybody wears some club swag from time to time. The more obscure the better. If you can find a Phi Kappa sports jersey from the fall of 1991 in a rummage sale, you're a king (or queen) among peasants. I recently purchased a club shirt from last years Makin' Music show (that I wasn't even involved in) on the black market for a reasonable price. This is another legend, but the rumor is that for every day you wear a piece of Gamma Tau Omega merch, your GPA raises by .02 points (some kind of deal Jared Collins has with the board). True or not, club apparel is a fundamental piece of the starter pack.
Hope you all enjoyed this starter pack! Is there something you would add? Put it in the comments!
Stay basic, Lions!
