Old habits die hard, extremely hard.
Trust me, I get it.
You’re upset. Someone hurt you, you feel left out, you’re overwhelmed with stress, or maybe you feel this way for no reason; regardless, just like most people, you want an easy fix for your issues.
What’s easier than going back to what you know?
If you’re sad, there’s endless amount of food you can stuff down your throat. If you have a credit card, the world is your oyster. You can shop your problems away. Oh, and there’s even a bed you can sleep in for hours to shut out the world.
You see, this is a little problematic.
When we’re in a rough place, the last thing we should be doing is avoiding our problems. Our emotions act up for a reason and by choosing all of these distractions, there’s no growth.
This is what I like to call an emotional band-aid.
We find a distraction that we’re comfortable with and stick to it. We fill our stomachs and shopping carts in hopes the problem will solve itself.
We have this metaphorical void inside of us and we try to fill it with all of these outer things when the only way to fill the void is to dissect the issue.
I’ll use myself as an example.
Let’s say I’m having a bad day. I’m feeling insecure, lonely, sad, you know, the whole she-bang. I don’t know how these emotions came on, but I’m hurting. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I’m about to go into binge-mode with my food to cover up these feelings.
If you think about it, how is a bowl of ice cream going to solve feeling insecure? Will I be less lonely after a few slices of bread? Of course not.
I’ll end up bloated with a pit in my stomach. I’m worse off than I was, to begin with. So, how can I approach this situation differently?
I need to pick up a journal and just write.
Go through every single thought that crosses my mind. Dive into each part of my day and look a bit closer at where these negative emotions could have stemmed from.
Facing your emotions is the only way to fill the void; nothing physical will ever come close.
There're other ways to face your emotions besides journaling as well. Try an anxiety/depression-related YouTube yoga video (Yoga With Adriene is my favorite) and listen to your body. See where you feel blocked throughout the practice and deep breathe the blocks away.
On the opposite set of the spectrum, try meditation. The purpose behind meditation is to quiet your thoughts altogether. While that may seem contradictory, letting go of the thoughts for a period of time actually makes it easier to understand them once your meditation session is over. You’re dealing with a much clearer head space.
When you pick a band-aid practice over one that’s good for your well-being, you’re only adding fuel to how stuck you feel. As uncomfortable as taking on your emotions may be, it has to be done. There’s no way around it.
It’s difficult, but for the right reasons. When you work through an inner block once, it’s less likely that it will come up again. As you combat more of them, I guarantee you’ll feel a weight off your shoulders. It’s impossible not to; you’re letting go of so much emotional baggage.
So, my advice to you?
Don’t go for the band-aid.
It’s simple and a great way to hide your problems, but that’s all it is. A life carried out in seclusion only builds up the issue further.
If you knock out the problem when it arrives, you’ll spend a lot less time sulking. Avoiding your emotions is essentially procrastinating on your well-being.
Feel your feelings. Write them out. Breathe them away. Take care of yourself as if you were still five years old. A child’s pain is just as real as yours; don’t tell you any different.
While it may seem hard now, I can promise you, there’s nothing more difficult than not feeling at home in your own life.
