Since the Italian Renaissance, ballet is been an influential form of expression for many generations. Ballet has been entertaining audiences old and young since the 15th century, and there's no sign of its success slowing down anytime soon.
Even though it is such a popular art form that has been prevalent in multiple cultures across the world over the span of hundreds of years, some people believe that ballet is "boring" or "too girly" or isn't even a sport. Whenever I hear these things, I sort of laugh to myself because I know the truth of what it's like to put on a difficult ballet number and all of the hard work and hours of dedication that are needed to make it complete. But sure, I'll just let those people say it's boring.
It's totally boring when a dancer uses his or her body as an instrument as a way to portray balletic movement to their audience. Someone might as well just bring me a blanket and a glass of warm milk as Odile in the coda of "Black Swan" in Act 3 whips out 32 fouette turns after dancing endlessly for almost 14 minutes (and did I mention this was act three?). I mean fouette turns are totally the easiest thing in the world, right?
It's even more boring when the dancers use their body to portray a story. Why can't they use their words while dancing? Because having a casual conversation with the audience about how the mice and the toy soldiers in the Nutcracker are going to duke it out while Saut de Chat-ing across the stage with a live orchestra totally makes sense. It's not like composers purposefully created an orchestrated sound that depicts the emotions that are conveyed with each character. And although us normal folk read each other's body language every day, it makes absolutely no sense to read the body language of a dancer. Are they even human?
And let's not even forget those stupid toe shoes they wear. What are those, satin-covered cinder-blocks? It's not like they're putting three times their weight on their big toe and jumping and spinning around effortlessly. I mean, come on ballet, when are you gonna put some real excitement and energy into your performances? Anyone can stand on their big left toe and have blisters gushing blood while still smiling on stage carrying out those final ballonés into pique turns in Act 1 of "Giselle." So easy!
Writing this article has made me come to the conclusion that ballet is definitely the most boring thing in the world, and is totally easy and anyone can pull it off. Everyone who has ever said that it is a boring art form is totally correct, and even though it has been instituted since the 15th century and been successful ever since, it should just stop altogether. Let's just go watch some paint dry instead because anything is more exciting than a ballet.
