"Bad Timing" In Relationships: Just An Excuse or Something More?
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Relationships

"Bad Timing" In Relationships: Just An Excuse or Something More?

"Wait, what? You guys broke up?"

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"Bad Timing" In Relationships: Just An Excuse or Something More?
Bonnin Studio

Get this. You think you finally found "the one" (if you believe in that kind of thing, that is). You wake up one day and practice all of your daily obligations and affairs. Maybe you are doing something completely moderate, like ordering a cup of your favorite coffee at your local café or finishing up that five-mile run at the gym. Then all of a sudden, you bump into a rather amazing human being. They carry a great sense of humor and intelligence, seem to be a fun-loving individual, and to top it off, they are pretty damn attractive, too. Everything about them simply fascinates you.

Skip the awkward beginning stage of you attempting to hide how uncouth you are as you start to learn more about this person. You come to find that you both share amazing, mind-blowing chemistry. You hate for your connection to sound like some cliché Nicholas Spark's novel when discussing with your friends about it, but you swear that fireworks fly when you two touch.

"I am so happy for you!"

"I wish I can find someone like that."

"Awesome. Can you pass those Doritos?"

"Wait, what? You guys broke up?" And that is your friends' exasperated bewilderment when you finally deliver the news. As expected in the dawning of any relationship, you sure did feel stunning in those rose-colored shades. However, even when you had the chance to take the frames off every now and then, you never suspected a flaw too alarming that made you want to cease all contact. So why did you guys break-up? There was no true explanation except for--

"Yeah, the timing just wasn't right."

Think about when you first meet someone. What are the circumstances of your confrontation? Coffee shops and gymnasiums seem innocent enough, but what if you are talking to someone at the bar after you had a couple of drinks? While your friends decide to get belligerently bashed into the night, you have the great luck of meeting an obviously appealing soul. Fast forward to a couple of hours in. It is closing time and everyone is leaving the building. You say good-bye to your newly found interest and retreat back to your peers. One of them finally inquires about your night. Your friends only wish to have occasional, detached hook-ups, and upon hearing your attraction, actively frighten you from persisting anything more steady. You listen.

Imagine that you are charmed by another and you two hit it off. Timing strikes again! What if you just ended a long-term devoted relationship with someone else and still contained lingering feelings? Or what if you recently endured a clash with a friend or family member and feel too vulnerable to trust someone new? Just think about how the manner of a person might be strikingly different in these positions, and how the vacillating elements like physical setting, sexual excitement, intoxication, and social groups may greatly influence their relationships. Can the one person you have been searching for honestly make that focal impact you have been anticipating, even if your concentration is absorbed by something else? There are a few critics that claim, "Yes!"

"If your girlfriend or boyfriend left you because they said the timing was wrong," Kathy Polo spoken in her article, 'The Truth About Timing In Relationships', "it could very well mean that either you were not right for them or they simply didn’t know how to deal with matters in their own lives, and consequently didn’t know how to deal with you." If you find yourself at a low point in one or more aspects of your life but have someone that you intend to be your mate if the conditions were a bit more suitable, they can still exist in your world. If your partner intensely cares for your happiness, they will grant you the time and distance you require to return back to proper balance, or even better, help you find a way to make it work. Saving, of course, if you do not make the flub of pushing them away. In which case, it was not timing that cheated you, but instead, the way you strived to manage your troublesome surroundings.

If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing – timing. But timing’s a bitch.” -- Heed Robin Scherbatsky

Granting all this, the gumption of "bad timing" will never be something that true love is capable of conquering, at least that is what feature expert Don Kopf explains in, 'True Love: It's All About Timing', a spread written by Katie Young.

"Just because two people are interested in each other doesn’t mean they’ll be able to be together," Dr. Kopf, psychologist and owner of Positive Potential, argues, "Timing is just as important as other factors like attraction and common interests." No amount of forcing a relationship into smooth sailing--no matter how good the chemistry is--will make it work. Sounds miserable, does it not? No worries, Dr. Kopf does retract and adds a little light to his claim, stating that even with bad timing, it does not mean that two people aren’t meant for each other. They just have to wait for the right moment. But the truth is, there is never an absolute or ideal period to induct a relationship, so the concept of "bad timing" could be a total myth after all. Or perhaps, the reality includes something a bit more interesting?

As stated before, there is no denying the fact that there exists particular settings in which concludes specific behavior from people every day. This fits with what social psychologists call, “the power of the situation”. For decades, psychologists have shown that what determines people’s behavior is often not their personality traits but rather the situation they’re placed in. The general public is more inclined to attract their concentration on personality/inherited details to analyze behavior, while ignoring situational factors. You might assume that other people have set characteristics, and that is just the way they are. They can be mature or childish, generous or selfish, loveable or unpleasant, etc. But if you make these presumptions, you may be kidding yourself.

"People do not behave exactly the same way from the minute they’re born to the minute they die," In the 'Science of Relationships' articles, Dr. Dylan Selterman studies how people dream about their partners (and alternatives), and how dreams influence behavior, "Any particular moment can make us funny, confident, exciting, hesitant, skeptical, introverted, flirtatious, or none of the above. And it’s all temporary—who knows what next week’s situation will bring."

We can wish for the right time, more time, or a different time, but the bottom line is there is no time like now to make things work for you. If certain situations do not work according to how you expect them to, the best thing you can do is give faith a helping hand and trust that timing will be perfect when it is meant to be

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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