Honestly, it took me a minute to realize that I wasn't the bad guy and that I actually gained something beneficial from you. I was reluctant to write this because I wasn't sure if you deserved thanks, but you made me realize that I deserve so much more than what you handed me. I am so much more than what you made me out to be, and for that, I will always be grateful.
You made me grow in a way that I never thought I could.
When you were in the picture, I had no idea where my life was going. Your guidance and motivation were nonexistent, and I was okay with settling. When someone asked me what I wanted to do with my degree, I would just shrug; I just knew I had to come up with some way to provide for myself. I'll never forget how you brainwashed me into almost applying to a college in a state that I had never been to - you convinced me it would be the best for what I wanted to do. You didn't know what I wanted, you didn't care; I didn't even know what I wanted. You just wanted to keep me wrapped around your finger; I guess you were just into the control.
About a week after I cut you off, I realized I wanted to go to law school. I didn't even know I was capable of going to law school. It was almost like I had an epiphany; I could actually do something with my life, something that would make me happy. I also told myself I was going to apply to my dream law school nowhere near where you were forcing me to go. Somewhere where I would be happy and studying what I love. After almost failing out of school and having a GPA so low that it could get me kicked out of my sorority, my grades went up along with my motivation and happiness. Everybody noticed. My grades are only getting higher and my motivation to get into my dream school increases with every passing day, and for a while, I forgot what hard work and motivation felt like. But I'm glad your departure brought those things back into my life.
Everything got better.
When I say everything, I mean everything - every small detail. Life itself just got better. When you were around, I almost lived my life in fear. I went through life with the thought of what you would think, and I'm just going to outright say that it wasn't okay. If you know this is about you, just know you treated me like shit. I lost almost all of my friends, I lost so much weight, and I pretty much lost my whole life. You were the only thing on my mind, and I thought that was what love was. I thought love was putting your significant other first no matter what, but it's not. Love is being with someone that wants you to be better; it's being with someone that cheers you on when you grow, no matter what it takes.
Now, I'm in the best relationships I could ask for, and I'm just happy. After I severed our tie, my college best friends were there waiting for me with open arms. It was then that I realized that you were keeping me from people that actually encouraged my growth, and you were brainwashing me to believe they wanted the worst for me. Plot twist - they actually want the best for me. I tell them about the smallest accomplishment, and they act like I just won a Nobel prize or something. Not to mention, my physical and mental health changed in a way you probably thought could never change. I actually look healthy now and don't feel like food is an enemy, and my mind is healthier than it's ever been. I learned how to love and take care of myself and the people around me.
So, thank you.
Thank you for showing me that I was worth way more than I thought I was. Thank you for making me realize that love isn't what you made it out to be and that I deserve way more than someone who only wants to keep me under their control and discourage my growth. You didn't break me, you made me stronger than ever, and I'm ready to take on the world.