Okay, so I just want to forewarn you of this article…it may spark you to do some inner investing that you don’t necessarily want to do. Friendships have their own category in our lives, and it is hard to have the willpower to look around and determine which friends make us the best us and which friends simply don’t.

I know that it sounds so selfish. I mean come on, it sounds like I am saying that we should look at all of our friendships and determine if that friend is “good enough” for us. But that really couldn’t be any more wrong!

Friendships are valuable, they are life giving and can be some of the most amazing relationships that we have in our lives. But on the contrary, they can also be comprised of some of the worst relationships we have in our lives…whether we realize it or not.

Don’t quote me on this, but I have heard the remark that we as individuals become the sum of our five closest friends; meaning that we think, act, and say just as our closest knit of friends do.

Here’s your thought process: umm who are my five closest friends, and what traits do I have that they do…more or less…what traits did I acquire from them, how did he just read my mind…I am good aren’t I. It is so true though; I mean you really do become who your friends are for better or worse.

We all have this internal voice that desires to not be an outsider, which is exactly why we do end up becoming who are friends are. We all have that voice that tells us we are to blend in rather than be the one who stands out. This is that same voice that makes it hard for us to actually leave our friend group when things get tough.

In all circumstances, in all friendships we are to determine how those around us are an influence. We really have to make sure that those who we are giving our heart to really take care of it.

We also need to make sure that our friends like us for who we are, and that they don’t expect us to go outside of our character to be something we’re not…that not only do they make us a better version of us, but also that we do the same for them.

I’ll put it this way, in each of your five closest friendships what is something that that each person has taught you, and how has that led you to make waves within your surroundings and within yourself?

Moreover, why would you want to be in a friendship so stagnant that you haven’t learned a thing? Why would you want to have a friend that doesn’t challenge you? Why would you want a friend that doesn’t give you the opportunity to grow?

Sometimes we just have to make that choice to leave our friends behind, because we simply aren’t in the same place that they are. And let me reassure you, this IS okay. It doesn’t mean that you won’t ever reconnect with that friend in the future, and that you won’t ever be able to be as close are you were/are…it simply means that you just need space to adjust accordingly.

I promise you that a decision this hard doesn’t go without being noticed; it ultimately gives you the option to choose who you want to be, thus letting you find yourself before you become just an average of others.