All My Bad Friends Taught Me What It Means To Be A Good Friend

All My Bad Friends Taught Me What It Means To Be a good friend

Be the friend you want others to be to you.

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If you've ever had a bad friend, you know how easy it is to justify their actions to yourself. Maybe they used to be a good friend and something changed? Maybe they were a bad friend the whole time? Either way, you love this friend despite their bad actions towards you and it really hurts when you come to the realization that they are not the friend that they had initially appeared to you to be.

The most important trait in a good friend is empathy. Friends that lack empathy are the ones who always think of themselves and always place their desires above your needs. This is the friend who you always offer rides, but that never provides the same courtesy for you. This is also the friend who makes you feel guilty when you need them to be there for you when your boyfriend breaks up with you, even though you sat up with them for hours the night their dog died. No one should ever be made to feel as if they are a burden, especially by one of their friends. All it takes is a bit of consideration for someone else. Experiencing friends who fail to be there through the good AND the bad showed me just how important this quality of loyalty is.

I try to make empathy one of my utmost priorities in my friendships and relationships. I want to be the friend that others know they can come to when they are in need. I want to be the friend who is always present to give advice and love, especially knowing how I have experienced others be so lacking in this area. I don't want others to have to go through the sadness that I have felt when one of my closest friends turns out to be a bad friend.

It's really not all that hard. You should love your friends. Loving your friends means that sometimes you need to put their needs above your own. Friends who cannot realize this concept and only ever think of themselves are not good friends and they are not people that you need in your life.

Bad friends make you feel alone and result in you always questioning their loyalty. Good friends built you up in love and support. You know you can count on good friends to always be there for you, even when you are struggling.

As terrible as it was, experiencing bad friendships really taught me to appreciate my good friendships. It's so much easier for me to recognize what I need and look for in a good friend after having experienced the heartbreak of bad friendships. Now I know almost immediately after meeting someone who will be a person I can become close to, and who will most likely remain more of an acquaintance than a good friend.

Everyone deserves good and loyal friendships that are life-giving. Good friends make you think, "Wow, they love me so well!" I want to be that friend because I know how terrible it feels to be given less than I deserve.

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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Let's be real: you and your roommate have said these things at least one to each other.

1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*Complains about not having money* *Spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee."

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your DM's."

*Cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *Catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*Chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *Loses phone* Every. Time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*Tries to get ready to do something fun* *Ends up staying in for another girls' night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"

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Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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