A series of mistakes: mistimed runs, missed shots, and countless turnovers. One bad touch repeats itself the whole game. One negative thought multiplies. One bad training, turns into five unproductive trainings. All until I am left thinking, “I don’t belong here.” My confidence has been struck, and it has completely dissolved. It has vanished, it is gone—and a new player has stepped into my being. A shy, timid player. Someone I am not.
My memory is fading. The memory of the player I was once is now blurry, vague, and undistinguished. All these questions and new uncertainties begin to infiltrate through my mind.
Why was I recruited?
What am I good at?
Do my teammates have faith in me?
I argue that this negativity is actually somewhat healthy. It molds you into a top-level athlete. It challenges you beyond belief and it makes you see the game through a different lens. You will not be successful if you have never held these thoughts. If you have never experienced this adversity and overcome it, you do not possess the mental toughness needed to weather through the worst of storms yet to come.
Mental toughness can refer to a plethora of aspects of the game. How to push your body to the maximum threshold, how to take constructive criticism with a grain of salt, and how to deal with fluctuating playing time. But I firmly believe the biggest test of your character, not only as a person, but as a top performer, is your response to a loss of self-confidence.
This feeling is dark and gloomy. You are reluctant and hesitant to be proactive in your movements and in your mindset. You put your head down. You fear everything that is going wrong, but never think of what could potentially go right. This feeling is not to be blamed on coaches, parents, or teammates. This is you. Your mind, your thoughts and your negativity dwelling on each mistake.
When you’re in this drought, the only way to survive is to replenish your self-esteem. You can’t focus on doing every tiny, incremental thing right. Go back to the basics, and do you what you do well. If you’re quick, be quicker. If you’re strong, be tenacious. If you’re a great teammate, express your energy and voice your positivity.
You have to start back at square one. You have to go back to where it all begin; to what made you get recruited, to what first caught your coach’s eye, and to what brought you here to this next level. Because you are here. You are at the next level and you deserve to be here. It is no coincidence that you have made it this far. People might have doubted you, people might have put the odds against you; but you have already exceeded expectations of your parents and old coaches. You have already made an impression.
Now, you must do this for you and nobody else. Forget every single mistake you previously have made. Go back and remember the countless times you struck the soccer ball the proper way, made three-pointers look effortless or scored the game-winning touchdown. Reminisce the feeling of goose bumps running down your spine, remember this feeling of euphoria. The post-game showers when you just stand there, hot water splashing in your face, smiling—wishing that this feeling would never end.
That is confidence. It starts with one positive thing that quickly dominoes. With each domino you knock over, you lose one fear. You are no longer scared, you have regained the belief you once had in yourself. The courage you once had. And most of all, assurance in your ability that you do, indeed, deserve to be here. This is your time. Don’t let your own mind take that away from you.
