"The Bachelor" season 23 ended last night, and there is a lot to be said about it. As a disclaimer, it's important to remember that this is a highly edited and scripted television show. It is hard to know how much is real and how much is created by producers. However, us viewers can only take things at face value. Despite the format, we can still learn valuable lessons from what we see. I believe that the lesson of this season is to learn from Colton's mistakes.
One invaluable thing to take from this finale is that it is important to listen to the needs of others. Last week, Cassie told Colton that she was not in love with him and that she wanted to leave the show. It was clear to the majority of the audience that she is not into him, especially not at the level that he is with her. In fact, many of the other contestants warned him about Cassie and he refused to listen. He ignored what Cassie told him and argued that she, in fact, did love him. This is not a healthy behavior to emulate. When people tell you how you feel, you need to believe them. You can't twist their feelings in order to put them on the same page with you.
If you love someone, set them free. If they return, then they are yours forever. This is a famous quote that many have used in their own romantic endeavors. The important part here, however, is that they have to return on their own. Fighting for love is a great thing, and a lot of people want someone who will jump a fence for them. But that only works if the feelings are reciprocated. While Colton was devastated by the breakup, Cassie said that she was happy to be going home to her family and friends. While I do believe that people fall in love at different speeds, Cassie had enough time on the show to at least feel conflicted at leaving Colton behind.
Colton's greatest fear was loving someone and not being loved back. He sent home two women who were in love with him and ready for marriage and commitment. In a way, he settled for someone who is admittedly fearful of relationships, who was not in love with him at the time and wasn't ready for engagement. While they are together now, there still seems to be hesitation, as they are not moving in together nor are they engaged. It is Colton who made the move to Cassie, and it feels like he is still the one doing all the chasing. Colton wants to be with someone that he loves, which is necessary to have a good relationship. But it's not enough if the person can't love him back just as much.
It may be true that Colton and Cassie are happy and will last forever. However, I don't think that the way Colton went about it should be an inspiration to anyone. When someone point blank says no, you have to respect that. It is not good to pressure someone into staying or loving you back. No one should settle for someone they are not in love with, but love is a two-way street. Don't be scared to wait for the real thing, where the love is reciprocated and the person will chase you as much as you chase them. That is a love worth fighting for.
