Relationships. Girlfriend. Boyfriend. Gal-pal. Man-friend. Woman. Man. "talking" (whatever that is lol). Friends with feelings. Flirting.

In today's day and age, there are many definitions of a "relationship" and how each of the specific categories work is described by its own set rules. Bottom line: Relationships have become complicated, even more than they already were. And because of this complicated state, it leaves some wanting more and others not willing to comply or someone wanting to get out of the relationship but feeling trapped in it because they do not want to cause pain or break a heart.

Relationships have also become a pleasurable thing to humans instead of a pleasing reflection of God and for God, to further His kingdom. Romans 12:9-10 says "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Instead of this, our society has started to treat their partner as an object and try to squeeze them into their schedule and if they do not fit then – oh well.

Now please tell me why we are being treated less than our worth and less than how the good Lord has intended us to be treated in relationships? …and it has become normal? Why have we allowed people to walk over us and not stand up for ourselves and be confident in our worth because we are scared someone will leave us? BIG WHOOP if they leave you if they do not see your true worth they should not have had you in the first place. In Psalms 139:14, David talks about our worth and how the Lord created us – we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" because God's "works are wonderful" and we should know that "full well!" Our confidence and worth should not derive from a relationship or specific person, but rather our confidence should be found in the Lord because He created us and "[He] knit [us] in [our] mother's womb." Let me tell you, knitting is not an easy job and it is very detail oriented, I can tell you because I do not have the patience for it, but the end product is beautiful and full of love. Soak that in.

Ladies, let me talk to you for a second.

YOU ARE GOLD and you better not let any man treat you any less. Do not settle for lesser treatment than you are worth because whatever value you place on yourself is not right; it is indeed 20 million times higher than that. Your outward beauty does not equal the beauty of your spirit by any stretch and it never will (1 Peter 3:3-4). Your physical beauty is icing on the cake, but the cake itself is your spirit, personality, love, and light. 1 Samuel 16:7 talks about the Lord not looking at the outward appearance, but the heart. The man who pursues you should be doing so because of the condition of your heart and your killer looks just add to the attraction. This thought of your spirit being attractive might be hard for some to chew and understand and believe, so let me speak (or type) these words over you:

You are an encourager. You are gentle. You are kind. You are caring. You are lovely. You are loved. You are a light. You are a princess. You are a Woman of God. You are redeemed. You are chosen. You are strong. You are gifted. You are blessed. You are forgiven. You are unbound. You are equipped. You are commissioned. You are a daughter of the one true King the Almighty God and by gosh by golly you better start believing it!

My aunt gave this cool way to describe a woman's worth in a relationship. She compared it to plates, stick with me, and it made me think, but also gave me a lot of confidence. Here we go ->There are paper plates and there is fine china. Many girls will settle for being a paper plate that gets thrown around, thrown away, messed up, and used without a care. When truly women should see themselves as fine china which is valued, displayed and proud of, beautiful, and treated with care because of the worth placed upon it. Question time: why are we settling to be paper plates when we are fine stinking china?? If your man, or future man, does not treat you like fine china find someone who will because he will not take you for granted, but see you as a blessing that the Lord has gifted, a more complete radiation of God and His love, and lead both of you deeper into the presence of the Lord and the calling He has on your lives both separately and as a unit.

Since you are fine china, you should not have to throw yourself at a certain male for a relationship, but instead, you should let HIM pursue YOU. Once the right one comes along, he will notice your value and beauty inside and out and will pursue you to no end. Proverbs 18:22 says "A man's greatest treasure is his wife – she is a gift from the Lord." Ladies, you are a gift and a treasure! A treasure because you must be found and sought out. How often do you find treasure lying on the beach in a big pile? Or all of the great deals on super cute items in a store all on the same rack as soon as you walk in? Rarely. Very very rarely. Almost never. The best things are often tucked away in a corner where you would never expect them to be. Where you have to search and dig through some ugly stuff. Treat yourself the same, let him search for you, find you, and go after you, no matter how much ugly he has to go through to get you. If he is for you and only you, he will go through whatever he must to have you and TREASURE you!

You are also a gift, yes, he searches for you and finds you and pursues you, but you also bring to the table. When Eve was created, she was called to be a helper to Adam, her husband, and that is still applicable today. We are helpers to our husbands, significant others, boyfriends, partners, we should serve and support their calling just as they do ours. We are to submit to our partners and their leadership.

Pause.

Some women hear this and think that they are strong and independent and can make decisions without their man and be perfectly fine not serving him and providing for his needs. Now, let me explain why this mindset is not necessarily the way to think.

This relationship is reflective of the church body and Christ (Ephesians 5: 22-30). The body submits to the head, which is Christ, but in such a way that is loving and not condemning and is a two-way relationship. The body serves the head, and the head blesses and serves the body. A woman serves her man, and a man serves his woman. These forms of service might look a little different and by no means am I saying that women cannot do what a man can do because I think where there is a will there is a way. All I am saying is that a woman is called to be a softer, more gentle spirit, that nurtures the family and home, they are caregivers, and encouragers, these things do not mark us as weak by any stretch, but instead show that side of God. Could you imagine a world without these characteristics? Could you imagine the Lord without these characteristics? Be confident in being a woman because it is the most beautiful, most emotional, most amazing blessing that you could receive. Take pride in serving your partner because that is what the Lord has called you to do and do not let this world make you think any differently.

You are strong. Even more, than you know.

You are beautiful – on the inside and out. Even more, than you know.

You are worth it. Even more, than you know.