Earlier this month, an article was released on Babe.net that detailed the date of a woman, Grace (her name was changed to protect her privacy), and the comedian Aziz Ansari. Grace explains how Ansari repeatedly ignored her discomfort and continued to force sex on her.

Grace claims that Ansari was pushy and quick to assume that she was OK with having sex with him. She says that he tried to make her perform oral sex, and later sex, even after she said that she was uncomfortable. She made several attempts to move to the other side of the room and gave both verbal and physical cues that she was not OK with what was happening.

According to her, Grace was clear that she was not comfortable with the situation and was not interested in having sex with him.

To many, this came as a shock. Aziz Ansari is one of the most well-known comedians of today. He is popular for discussing dating in most of his work. In fact, he has even written a book, "Modern Romance," about relationships, sex, and dating. At this year's Golden Globes, an event whose focus was sexual misconduct, Ansari wore a "Time's Up" pin, symbolizing his stance against sexual abusers. Before reading the expose, I was a fan. Ironically, because he seemed to understand what kind of jokes were appropriate.

His book, stand-up, and show "Master of None" were all able to discuss sex and dating without being disrespectful to women. In fact, his jokes were often at the expense of men who forced themselves on women and were overly rough.

According to his work, it is clear that Ansari knows what it means to be a nice guy. His characters are closely associated with his public image. He is known for being the good guy, someone who understands and embodies what it means to be a feminist.

What this new story shows is that he used his reputation as a nice guy to intrigue women, but abandoned the act when it came to him getting what he wanted.

Amidst all the stories of workplace sexual assault and abuse of power, like the accusations against Harvey Weinstein, it can be easy to ignore the accounts of dates where there might be more of a grey area. Who hasn't had a date where they felt uncomfortable? The normalcy of this story is why it is perhaps more of a lesson than some of the other sexual assault stories today.

The Harvey Weinstein stories that began the reckoning going on in Hollywood right now were so startling because it is everyone’s worst nightmare; abuse of power, manipulation, rape, violence, etc. Some people questioned if Weinstein actually committed the acts that he is accused of, but few question if the acts are unacceptable.

Aziz’s story in comparison seems rather mild, normal in fact. But this date gone wrong is much closer to the kind of sexual misconduct that is so rampant today. Obviously, the behavior that Weinstein displayed is horrific; we all know that it is terrible. When it comes to Ansari, dozens of articles and thousands of tweets have come out in his defense. A huge part of the population simply doesn't understand that what he did is sexual assault and that it isn't OK.

We have all heard "No means No," but we do not talk about reading and understanding less explicit cues.

For me, I can see being in a situation similar to the one that Grace was in; with a guy that I wanted to like and under other circumstances might have wanted to be with, but being unsure of how to tell this person that I am uncomfortable. Yes, loudly declaring "I do not want to have sex with you" and walking out of the room would have been a clear sign, but that is not the way people usually handle situations where they aren't comfortable.

In most social situations where you are feeling uneasy, anxious, or threatened, saying "I'm not sure about this," "I'm uncomfortable," "Can you slow down," "Can we wait" and "I do not want to" are all understood as a "no." Why is this not the case in the bedroom?

Movies, TV, books, etc. have all presented us with this idea that when someone, usually but not exclusively a woman, says "I don't know about this," and the other partner, usually a man, persists, then she will eventually agree to sex.

When it comes to sex, we stop reading these types of cues as discomfort but as some twisted foreplay, just another step before you can have sex.

Not all rape or sexual assault is the violent act of a stranger in a deep, dark alleyway. Most of the time, it is similar to what Ansari did. He was aware that Grace was not OK, or at the very least, not enjoying the interaction. He continued anyway.

I think that Ansari has received so much support because men are not taught that what he did was wrong. Most women are aware from a young age how to be aware of a situation that might lead to sexual assault, but far fewer men are taught what sexual misconduct looks like and how to tell when their partner isn't comfortable.

Continued, unwanted sexual advances are always unacceptable. No means no, but so does "I'm not OK with this."

This story is heartbreaking and all too common. Let's take the opportunity to learn from it and do better.