Have you ever wanted to write an awesome short story? Have you looked at a piece of swiss cheese in that certain way and had the sudden urge to write an interesting fictional novel told from the words of a wise old grandpappy groundhog, love struck worm, or a socially awkward ground monster but stopped short once your hands hit the key board or pencil hits paper? Look no further! I will commence in trying to instruct all of y'all in how to write the best short story you can on the fly. That is if the fly doesn't approve, in which case on the water buffalo.

1. Set The Theme

What's the intention for the story? Is it a campfire story meant to scare people? Is it a comedy? Is it an emotional story? A sensual story? A mystery? Are you gonna start out as a horror and make a sharp turn into a comedy?

2. Set The Scene

What does the character see, feel, taste, remember. What do you want the story to be about? Whether it's bound to go to sex or death or finding grandma, think about how you can get there. How do people die, how do people end up having sex, how can someone end up at grandma's. No matter what type of genre you choose, a story can start anywhere: in the bedroom, or the bar, or the cabin in the woods, you just need to end up at grandma's house in the end.

3. Point Of View

Don't forget to give your character background. Why is Brianna going to grandma's house? Memories, background, and imagery can make the difference on where the story goes.

Let's for instance ponder the reason why a character, Chad, is getting drunk in a cabin in the woods. What if he just lost his job, his girlfriend, and a family member in a matter of days. Maybe he's there on a "business retreat" and his girlfriend doesn't know he's actually in the woods with another girl. Maybe he's just started a relationship and this is their first real week alone and he's starting to have hesitations whether he wants to stay with her. Maybe he's in a cabin in the woods near a legend of an ancient temple shrine that answers any and all of his questions.

4. Body Of The Story

This can be the rising action to the climax. If you have ever heard a campfire story or written one (in which case thanks for still reading this) the rising action prepares you to be scared. It's the area of the story where you add scary noises and remind the reader that the character is easily scared and just peed their pants. The rising action reminds the reader that its too dark and the trees seem to be breathing down their neck or is that Joey, wait where did Joey go.

If this is a sensual story this is where you put memories of how hot the character thinks Chad or Ashley are (depending on which point of view it is looking at him or her). This would be the thoughts and steps leading up to our climax at the bar bathroom or under the high school bleachers.

5. Details

When giving details of what the characters are experiencing, the five senses are important but keep in mind that the character might not always completely be able to describe what they're seeing or hearing. It could be dark or the character might be too sweaty or too unconscious to legitimately describe what they see.

5. Spice It Up

Was that Obama or sasquatch making out on the other side of the bleachers? Did Uncle Joey grab his beer wishing for someone to talk to and as he grabbed it, the Cool-Aid Man or Tony the Tiger poofs out, all genie like and grants ye old uncle three wishes, but no death, love, or more wishes. Did Brianna step on a stick and open the secret portal to wonder land? Did Peter Pan pop up and fly her away, leaving your character alone?

Spicing it up doesn't have to mean adding such crazy surprises. Brianna could have just stepped on a stick and got blown off her feet into a lovely ditch complete with no AC, or toiletries. It's my experience that sarcasm can be pretty spicy if your aim is to be comical in a horror story. However if your aim is to be scary, spicy phrases describing her horrible trip down the ditch, how she felt as the sharp tree root shreds through her chest as the last bit of light leaves not only her eyes, but leaves Chad alone for the rest of the trip to grandma's.

6. Conclusion

Whether the story was sexy, scary, or funny, the readers have come to expect something more, and like all good stories and tv show hosts, we gotta leave them hanging to keep them interested. "But don't worry folks, as Chad made it to grandma's it was to his surprise when grandma informed him she set those traps and that he was next on grandma's hit list."