We are almost there: finals. That dreaded word that sucks the life out of every college student throughout the country. How to pretend you didn't sleep through half your lectures? How to write a paper on a topic you know nothing (yes, nothing) about?
There is only one answer: Procrastinate. Since coming up with ways to procrastinate takes too much effort, here is a list of ways to make "better" use of your time during finals.
1. "Screw this, I'm gonna go eat cookies."
Ponder how many cookies you could consume without exploding. Forty? Fifty? Sixty?! Go purchase cookies and test it out! You're practically doing science!
2. Instagram your feelings. Choose the right filter and test it out 30 times to make sure its perfect.
Think about all the work you need to do. Instead, make a duck face and share the struggle with the world. It's productive!
3. Think about how you now have Bieber fever because you have been watching that GIF 30 times already and can't seem to stop.
Well, shit.
4. Pretend you're a magician and order a pizza using your cool magical device.
Make sure not to share the pizza, you're celebrating being alive and deserve all of its cheesy goodness. Treat yo self!
5. Consider dropping out of school to become the next Miley Cyrus.
She gives no f***s and so do you! She wouldn't study for orgo either because she "can't stop!" She's famous! It's like you're already her! (Plus you also like fluffy cats so it's a win-win!)
6. Count sheep.
7. Try to meditate and find internal inspiration.
If only you had a best friend like that...
8. Start a rebellion against finals.
You want to change the world, and you're not going to let finals get in the way of that. Create a "save the students" foundation to abolish the institution of finals! Support the underdogs!
9. Do your laundry.
Because even laundry is more fun than finals.
10. Eat a balanced meal.
Convince yourself that doing nothing but eating is better than studying because it gives you energy. Also, it is way more fun. Just keeping priorities in check!
11. Consider becoming an exotic dancer if you fail.
What do you like doing more: applied math or dancing? We all know the answer is obvious. Peace out of the library like a boss because haterz gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
12. Make a new friend... Desperately.
Anything to keep your mind off of studying. Preoccupy yourself with someone else's problems. See? Your finals aren't such a big deal in comparison.
13. Go online shopping, for everything.
Might as well get a head start on the holiday shopping now! Yeah, you got a chemistry test tomorrow but if you order that Santa hat from Amazon in the next 5 hours and 32 minutes it can get to you by Friday!
14. Think about if it is really bad if you fail.
Do you even NEED calculus? Nah...
15. Write an article about procrastination instead of studying for finals.
Sigh. But when you're done with the article, finally begin studying...maybe.
