Election Day is nearly upon us, and it feels as though flags across the country should be flying at half-staff to mark the impending doom. While some Americans whole-heartedly back one candidate, it seems the majority is open to a third option descending from the heavens and delivering them from an uncertain future.
In the midst of pessimism and potential political chaos, I'd like to give us some practical ways to avoid a mental breakdown. When the next President of the United States reigns supreme over us all, look to these distractions to find a silver lining.
1. Watch "Mad Max: Fury Road" and be thankful we're not there yet.
I realize that Trump and Hillary aren't the best candidates for President, but at least they haven't killed the world... yet. When one of them worms their way onto your television or social media feed, hide in your living room and watch "Mad Max: Fury Road." After that, you won't think life is so bad.
2. Learn how to fend off braggers.
When either Trump or Hillary stands victorious, their supporters will inevitably brag about it. If that gets you down in the dumps, learn how to dodge those braggers like a pro. Feel free to buy a spray bottle to stave off unwanted comments, or take parkour lessons for an evasive getaway.
3. Google "Chihuahua Hat."
Come on. Look at him. No matter how bad this election gets, we still have him.
4. Replace media coverage with "Bob Ross: Beauty is Everywhere."
Now hear me out. I understand Bob might be a little unsettling, but his soothing voice and captivating artwork are the perfect distractions from the election. Wouldn't you rather see his face than Trump's or Hillary's? You can find his series on Netflix. If it comes between fear-inducing media coverage and Bob, then choose Bob.
5. Find a nice, large pumpkin and take refuge inside it.
If the pessimism within you gets too intense, use this method as a last-ditch effort. Halloween comes just in time before the election, presenting the perfect getaway: enormous leftover pumpkins that can act as sensory shields. Are Trump and Hillary getting to you? Slip inside the nearest pumpkin (or Trumpkin?) and your woes will disappear.
These are only a few of the positivity-protecting distractions that you can employ under the new President's regime. Even if you're fully supporting one of the candidates, these strategies can help you in any number of life's challenges. Don't let the world bring you down; the best is yet to come.
In all seriousness, no matter the result of the upcoming election, make sure to maintain a healthy outlook. You might despise our new President and disagree with their actions, but there are plenty of joyful things in life to focus on instead.
That being said, if you want to hide inside of a pumpkin, I would totally support your decision.
