This summer is looking pretty packed for me. Between work, an online class and helping out at my dance studio, I barely have any time to relax. I was hired for three jobs this summer, which sounds pretty great, but I realized that it is way too much.
I have always had a difficult time saying no. Being the people pleaser I am, it is really difficult when I feel like I am letting others down. I am a perfectionist and a people pleaser, which is a difficult combination. Usually, I want to do everything, and I want to give it my everything. But I've learned something in college. Spoiler alert: it doesn't work.
I've had to learn how to say no to things. I am only one human being, and I have to remember that! It seems silly to a lot of people that I can't say no, but unless you're the same way, you don't get it. It's anxiety-inducing for me to tell people that I can't do something, be it a job, a favor, etc.
Since I've gone to college, I wanted to work on my naysaying skills. I've realized that my health, mental and physical, is so much more important than trying to do everything! There are others in the world who can help, so I don't need to take over every little thing myself. I only learned how to say no by years of spreading myself too thin. I was not sleeping at night because I had so much to do, I didn't have any free time, and basically, I was miserable when I was trying to do so many different things.
Luckily, I learned that putting myself first is more important than making people happy. My wellbeing is more important than disappointing someone for a short time. This isn't about not wanting to do the work and do it well, but it is about wanting to do everything I do to perfection and putting myself through too much stress to even enjoy the little time I have to relax. Hard work is one of my specialties. I love helping others, and I try to make sure that I can help others to the best of my ability. I am a dependable person, but sometimes, I just have to say no.
If you understand where I am coming from, you should hear this: you are most important in your life. Your mental health has so much more value than being able to please others all the time. You deserve a break. You don't have to be superhuman and do everything. You'll feel so much better with a lighter load on your plate.
It was a hard lesson to learn, but actually having time to enjoy myself and be healthy is much more important than the awkwardness of having to say no to something that adds unnecessary stress to my life.
